Content warning: discusses sexual harassment
I could never walk home with headphones in. Can never wear those uncomfortable boots that mean I can’t run. Can never wear a low-cut top without a jacket. Can never walk down a quiet street in the dark (quiet, or not so quiet, in, or not so in, the dark).
If I were to walk through a quiet street wearing uncomfortable boots with my headphones in, of course, something would happen. But if I weren’t to walk through that quiet street not wearing those comfy boots without my headphones in, of course, something could happen.
The nation is grieving the news of Sarah Everard’s disappearance. The woman who didn’t wear uncomfortable boots, and didn’t have her headphones in. The woman who walked through the streetlights in front of the traffic cameras, who stayed on the phone to stay safe while she just walked home. Except she couldn’t quite make it, and she wasn’t quite safe.
According to The Guardian, 97% of women aged 18-24 have faced some form of sexual harassment, whether in the workplace, on the streets, or at home. That’s not just 97% who have suffered. That’s 97% of young women suffering at the hands and abuse of men in the workplace, on the streets, or at home.
Maybe if even 1 of those 97% had stayed home, they could have stayed safe. Or maybe, if that 1 had stayed home, he would have found another. Maybe it’s not about keeping us home, safe, but keeping the danger away from the streets, keeping us safe.
“Being chased through parks, followed in cars, groped on the tube, catcalled in the shops.”
Baroness Jenny Jones, a Green Party peer, and thousands of women across social media, in fact, have all shared their outrage over the lack of women’s safety at night, at day, at home, on the streets. Sharing their stories of sexual harassment: being chased through parks, followed in cars, groped on the tube, catcalled in the shops.
Maybe it’s not the victims we should be protecting, but the perpetrators we should be preventing.
Baroness Jones sparked outrage, with #CurfewForMen trending on Twitter after her suggestion that men should be the ones to stay at home after 6pm to protect their victims.
Some argued that this could be the only way forward to stop cases like Sarah’s in the future, others retaliated questioning whether that would actually make a difference, considering the high number of sexual violence and harassment taking place indoors, or in the light.
Considering that #NotAllMen had been trending a few hours before, it’s no surprise that Baroness Jones’ suggestion was not popular amongst the general population. And by the general population, I mean men. The ones who designed our society, which was built for and around them, as Caroline Criado Perez effectively argues in her book: Invisible Women.
“If it’s not men staying indoors, it’s women in danger on the streets.”
The idea that men should be the ones to stay inside to protect women on the streets would of course lead to anger and surprise. Why should men change their habits? Why should men be prevented from freedom? Why should men be punished, especially if it is “#notallmen”?
Perhaps we should turn that around. If it’s not men staying indoors, it’s women in danger on the streets. Women having to carry keys as make-shift weapons, women only having their freedom if they share their location or stay on the phone.
Why should women change their habits? Why should women be prevented from freedom? Why should women be punished?
“Walking home in the dark is a risk for a woman.”
The issue that women face now, isn’t the fact that it is all men. We know not all men are abusers and rapists. But any man could be. And that’s why we’re scared.
Walking home in the dark is a risk for a woman. A risk because the man walking a little too close behind her might just be trying to get home too. Or he might be stopping her from getting home. They can’t both win – either men stay home and women feel less afraid, or women stay home and supposedly have less to fear (although not in all cases).
And as I said before, we’re not scared of all men. We’re scared of what they could be. These stories aren’t throwing men (as a collective) under an ugly light, they’re just showcasing that men have always been under that light – we’ve just been too scared to say so.
Critics of Baroness Jones’ argument (and misogynists) have retaliated that men’s mental health is in danger as they’re now being seen as the danger. But they’ve always been, haven’t they? That’s why we’re warned against walking alone at night.
So, do we protect men’s feelings from women’s reality, or protect women from men?
The reality is that Baroness Jones’ curfew suggestion was a possibility for change, but the backlash shows that the vital changes needed will never actually happen. Of course, men won’t be the ones to make changes.
“It seems as though even when women are openly addressing the issues they’re facing from men, nothing changes.”
If social media posts are anything to go by, the fact that infographics and shared Instagram stories have made men realise the danger they can pose highlights the sheer ignorance that half our population are living by. And the fear and danger the other half of us live by.
Even with thousands of women bravely sharing their stories of sexual harassment online, and drawing attention to the prevalence of the problem within our society (and by problem, I mean the problem of men harassing women rather than the problem of women walking through the streets of London at night), hundreds of objections are being made. Objections such as “not all men” or attempts to silence women and their stories once again.
In fact, the Reclaim These Streets vigil that was being safely organised in memory of Sarah was silenced and shut down by police enforcement (ironically). It seems as though even when women are openly addressing the issues they’re facing from men, nothing changes.
So, can we really blame the suggestion of a curfew for men when women, at all hours of their day, have to stay inside just to stay safe? Can’t we finally agree that enough is enough?
For more information on, and how to support, Reclaim These Streets: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/reclaimthesestreets
Meghna Amin
Featured image courtesy of Hamidreza Torabi on Unsplash. Image license can be found here. No changes were made to this image.