Although I have never been a parent myself, I’m pretty sure it’s inherent that Rule 1 of the Parenting Manual (if there is one) is that you need to love your kids unconditionally. It doesn’t matter if your child is difficult, angry or suffers from neurological conditions or traumas: your love, patience and home for them should never be contingent.
I believe that is especially true when you are opening up your home to someone who has already experienced significant abandonment and trauma, as the majority of kids who are in the adoption system have.
If you make an income out of being the model nuclear family – as is the case with YouTube vloggers the Stauffers – you’d think that unconditionally loving your children is part of the parcel. Instead, when life got too difficult, they decided to ‘rehome’ their adopted son Huxley as if he were an unwanted pet.
In my opinion, making a commitment to an animal before deciding to ‘rehome’ it at a later date is wholly unfair and irresponsible, as you face causing significant psychological harm and upheaval for the animal.
Do the same with a human child, it’s utterly deplorable.
Although the Stauffers may have claimed that they ‘tried their best’ and had ‘no other option’, to me, the reality is simple. Their white saviour complex, as well as the potential for views pushed them to adopt a child all the way from China: ripping them away from their culture and roots with the promise of a ‘new life’.
Whilst this might have been acceptable if the Stauffers’ heart was in the right place, it is clear to me that their motivations were purely financial and based on generating more views and, by extension, income. They dedicated a whole mini-series on their channel to adopting Huxley: demanding money from their viewers in order to pay for the costs associated with adopting him.
When he was diagnosed with autism and other adoption-trauma-related-issues, they broadcast every step of his deeply personal life to the world for the sake of advertising revenue.
Broadcasting your son’s issues on the internet is concerning enough, but what makes it worse is the fact that they allegedly taped his thumbs down to stop him from sucking it, and sent him to bed early in order to spend time with their four other biological – and some might say more ‘highly valued’ – children.
Then, when they callously palmed him off onto a new ‘forever home’, they tried to erase his existence by simply never mentioning him in videos. They only addressed his ‘rehoming’ after hundreds of fans grew increasingly concerned about his whereabouts.
Undoubtedly, all of these actions show a complete lack of care towards Huxley. To this day, despite dropping him off like an unwanted cat, they are still exploiting him.
Despite various petitions from fans, all of their videos including him remain live, with lucrative advertising deals ensuring that Huxley’s grim legacy will line their pockets for years to come.
Charlotte Colombo
Featured image courtesy of Esther Vargas via Flickr (CC BY-SA 2.0).