Felicia Roberts
Demi Lovato’s new single ’29’ is rightfully going viral on TikTok. Holding a heart-breaking story with thought provoking lyrics, perhaps the motive for this piece of music is to educate listeners about a topic we hear all too often.
TW: Illegal age-gap relationships, misogyny, body image, ED.
Emotional Trauma
After a near-fatal 2018 drug overdose and recovery and a journey of gender exploration, Demi Lovato is shedding her pop princess persona and revealing her demons through her new hard rock and pop punk album HOLY FVCK.
“really takes you through the emotional trauma”
29 is an edgy pop song that seemingly addresses her experience of being in a relationship with an older man as a teenager. Lovato’s strong voice and high-pitched (almost screaming) backup vocals, paired with the guitar and heavy drumming, hold a lot of power which really takes you through the emotional trauma that they have experienced.
It’s definitely a song you’ll hear many shouting at the top of their lungs as a big “FUCK YOU!” to their groomers and abusers.
Relationship Reference
Back in 2010, when Lovato was 17, they started dating 29-year-old actor Wilmer Valderrama, leaving a 12-year age gap between the pair.
At the time, Lovato was in a whirlwind of romance – who wouldn’t be? An older, well-known, good-looking man telling you how beautiful you are when you’re 17 and struggling with body image issues and eating disorders? Of course she was going to fall for him – and he knew that.
Lovato wasn’t the only young person that Valderrama dated; he had a track record of it, actually. He’s been rumoured to have been with many ‘barely legal’ girls, supposedly sparking the inspiration for the story told in 29. It could be fair to speculate that the line “I see you’re quite the collector” addresses the rumours surrounding Valderrama and how he treated teenage girls, engendering this song to inspire others to share their stories and to let them know that they are not alone.
Mandy Moore
Valderrama began dating Mandy Moore in 2001, when she was only a 16-year-old girl and he was a 20-year-old man. Later on, in a 2006 interview with Howard Stern, he boasted about how he took Moore’s virginity (without permission or a heads up may I add, as referenced in the line “What the fuck is consent?!”), in a very misogynistic and displeasing manner.
When talking about taking her virginity, Stern asked: “Do you have to use some sort of tool to pierce that thing?”
Valderrama replied: “I will say this, it is not like warm apple pie.”
“Lovato expresses heavy anger towards this wrongfully common situation”
12 years later Moore came out and verified that he’d actually lied. He never took her virginity, so why did he go on the radio and talk about his sex life with a minor? Moore also talked about how she was so embarrassed and that her dad was upset and told her he lost respect for him. Lovato expresses heavy anger towards this wrongfully common situation, by using straight-up lyrics and well-composed vocals to portray the severity of such circumstances in a clear and concise way.
Lindsay Lohan
Perhaps it is also worth noting Valderrama’s previous relationship with Lindsay Lohan, in order to gather a better grasp of the backstory of 29 and the potential legacy that this song could hold.
The actor was Lohan’s first high-profile boyfriend. Allegedly, they began dating when she was 17, but only announced their relationship in 2004 – on the day of her 18th birthday! He was 24. They went through a painful ending which lead to Lohan releasing an angsty breakup single called Over.
In the same 2006 interview with Howard Stern, whilst Lohan was going through some of the lowest points in her life, Valderrama humiliatingly spoke about her difficult family life and body image, and disclosed her grooming routine. As if it was his business to tell…
Hollywood’s ‘Lolita’ Complex
The relatable and relevant themes brought to listeners’ attention in 29 help to highlight that age gap relationships with minors are a massive problem in Hollywood that is looked upon as normal!
Elvis Presley, Hugh Hefner, Johnny Depp, Leonardo DiCaprio, Tyga, Stephen Tyler, Woody Allen…honestly, the list is endless.
Although statistically it is an issue among men, it must be noted that there are also examples of women who date freshly mature men. Even Fergie was 23 when she dated 16-year-old Justin Timberlake. It’s a broad issue.
Just to prove how normalised these relationships are, I’ll remind you of a 2013 interview with 23-year-old Machine Gun Kelly. Whilst repulsively discussing his crush on a then 17-year-old Kendall Jenner he said: “I’m not waiting until she’s 18, I’ll go now. I’m 23, dog, I’m not like a creepy age […] and she’s like a celebrity, there’s no limits right there.” He then went on to list multiple famous men who have dated underage girls in a bid to convince the interviewer that his behaviour wasn’t inappropriate.
“Questionable age gap romances are fed to us through our TV screens”
Questionable age gap romances are fed to us through our TV screens- it’s even in movies that are aimed toward a young target audience. In Pirates of the Caribbean, Kiera Knightley was only 17 when she had an on-screen romance with 25-year-old Orlando Bloom. In Disney Channel’s Starstruck, Danielle Campbell was 14 whilst Sterling Knight was 20. And again in Disney’s Another Cinderella Story, Selena Gomez had only just turned 16 whilst her love interest Drew Seeley was a full grown 26-year-old man.
Daddy Issues
It is not new for Lovato to discuss such sensitive and personal experiences in a media-driven fashion. Their well-known traumatic childhood and poor relationship with their father have been previously depicted on screen and in song. Documentaries including Demi Lovato: Stay strong (2012) and Simply Complicated (2017) have showcased the Disney star’s distresses, whilst songs such as For the Love of a Daughter (2011) have delved into Lovato’s upbringing.
Young girls who have a difficult relationship with their fathers growing up are commonly taken advantage of in relationships, specifically by older men. The term coined for this is “Father Complex” or “Daddy Issues.” Lovato openly admits that this is something they struggle with. They even have an entire other song dedicated to it in which they write: “Had me in your grip, went beautifully with / All my daddy issues / And this shit continues.”
It appears that Lovato likes to use their musical platform to voice their individual chronicles, and is using 29 as yet another opportunity to tell their tale to their audience.
Finally 29
Lovato and Valderrama called it quits in June 2016, and 6 years later, on 17th August 2022, 29 was released.
The intense lyrics in this song show that Lovato is coming to terms with the fact that the 6-year relationship that they experienced had a definite power imbalance that they didn’t recognise at the time. Not only was Lovato underage at the beginning of the relationship, but they were also heavily struggling with their mental health.
“a major step in the right direction on the Hollywood scene”
This is a clear call out and a major step in the right direction on the Hollywood scene, as it is rare that a victim would so blatantly address their offender. And with that, may the chorus of the song echo in your head: “Finally 29 / 17 would never cross my mind / Thought it was a teenage dream a fantasy / But it was yours it wasn’t mine.”
“HOLY FVCK” by Demi Lovato is out now on Apple Music.
Featured image courtesy of Nurunnahar Niva via Flickr. Image licence found here. No changes were made to this image.
