3 Sneaky Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Beth Rush

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How do you feel about yourself? Do you think you’re as worthy as anyone else, deserving of respect and having your boundaries honored? If you’re like many, you may grapple with imposter syndrome and a lack of confidence that affects multiple aspects of your life. 

You are on equal footing with everyone else, but society can sometimes take a toll on how you feel about yourself. Unfortunately, a low self-image affects how other people view and treat you. It can also take a toll on your mental health, encouraging anxiety and depression. You need proven ways to improve your self-esteem to start a positive upward spiral — the better you feel about yourself, the better others behave, giving you an extra confidence boost. 

What are some practical ways to feel better about yourself? Here are three sneaky ways to boost self-esteem. 

“Society can sometimes take a toll on how you feel about yourself.”

Why Should You Boost Your Self-Esteem? The Psychological Background

Your feelings are not reality. However, they shape your behavior, which you can think of as the energy you put into the world in concrete form. Feeling low about yourself makes you project a vulnerable image upon which less scrupulous individuals may prey. 

In extreme cases, you may fall victim to predators. However, more often, your lack of confidence leaves you open to more subtle forms of persuasion, such as advertising that capitalises on your insecurities to get you to spend money you don’t have on products you don’t need. 

For example, you may be embarrassed by your smile. Professional whitening treatment is a safe and effective confidence booster, giving you clinically proven results. However, many consumers turn to DIY methods first, which may or may not work, draining their pocketbooks. 

Your lack of self-esteem can also affect your behavior in other negative ways, such as making you overly defensive. Such mindsets often occur as trauma responses when previous interactions with others resulted in shame, exploitation, or physical harm. As a result, you view current approaches with suspicion and react with hostility — which has the boomerang effect of making others avoid you, further lowering your self-concept.

“Your lack of self-esteem can also affect your behavior in other negative ways, such as making you overly defensive.”

For example, a colleague offers to help you on a difficult project, and instead of expressing gratitude, you think, “they’re trying to take the credit.” As a result, you decline their assistance and hand in subpar results. Worse, you snap at them, earning a reputation as the office hothead. Either way, your career prospects suffer a blow that only makes you feel worse about yourself. 

Low self-esteem can also affect your intimate relationships. For example, you may stay with a neglectful or even abusive partner if you feel like you don’t deserve any better and fear being alone if you leave. Unfortunately, far too many abusers prey on this insecurity, reinforcing it with statements like, “Nobody else would put up with you,” thus isolating you from outside support systems. 

3 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem 

Now that you understand why nurturing a healthy self-concept is so important, what are some ways to improve your self-esteem? Here are three sneaky methods that can help. 

1. Practice Daily Self-Care 

Self-care isn’t selfish, nor does it lazing about indulgently at a pricey spa with an umbrella drink in your hand. The World Health Organization defines it as those behaviours which support positive health and help you manage existing conditions. It might look like the following:

• Daily grooming: Washing your face and brushing your teeth and hair before bed is more than a cosmetic procedure. They’re important ways to nurture your health. Proper hygiene reduces your risk of infectious and chronic ailments and provides a confidence boost as a bonus. They often go by the wayside when you feel bad about yourself, which is one reason why showering is sometimes an effective depression buster. It’s a way of saying to yourself, “I matter.” 
• Eating healthy meals: You know you don’t feel good — or good about yourself — when you consume too much ultra-processed junk food. While it’s not wise to deprive yourself, making healthy food choices that nourish your body is like saying, “I love you” to yourself. 
• Taking time to rest: Humans aren’t supposed to work 24/7, no matter what the productivity gurus say. You need adequate time to sleep but also to play, relax and simply be. Taking breaks makes you perform better on the clock and honours your innate need to be yourself. 

Therefore, prioritise your self-care. Put it in your weekly planner if you must. The time you take to nurture yourself will pay off in feeling better and reflecting on how others treat you. 

2. Tackle a Fitness Challenge 

Exercise is another crucial component of self-care. However, why not boost your self-esteem even further by overcoming a fitness challenge? You don’t necessarily need to sign up for a marathon — your goal can be as unique as your beautiful self. 

For example, if you adore yoga but are new to the practice, your challenge might look like touching your toes for the first time in years. Be gentle, treating yourself as you would your best friend as you use encouragement, not condemnation, to motivate yourself. 

If you’re exercise-averse, your challenge might look like getting to the gym two or three times a week for a month. Then, stick with your commitment — it takes roughly three months for most people to form a new habit. 

Of course, if fitness has long been your stress outlet, go ahead and sign up for a marathon or Tough Mudder. You’ll get a groovy medal to showcase your accomplishments and some impressive bragging rights around the water cooler. 

“Be gentle, treating yourself as you would your best friend as you use encouragement, not condemnation, to motivate yourself.”

3. Conquer a Bad Habit 

Bad habits like smoking can make you feel helpless, negatively affecting your self-esteem. The problem compounds if you’re one of the many who has tried to quit several times and relapsed. However, read that last sentence again — “one of the many.” The average is 8 to 11 attempts before a smoker gets clean for good, so please don’t give up. 

Other bad habits you might decide to tackle include the following:

• Drinking to excess to mitigate social anxiety;
• Spending too much time on social media;
• Overindulging in certain favourite junk foods;
• Reacting with anger or hostility instead of calm and patience;
• Habitually running late without an intervening circumstance.

Once you successfully overcome your bad habit, your self-confidence will soar. However, please remember to be patient and gentle with yourself. When you unlearn a bad habit, you’re carving new neural pathways in your brain, so be as patient as a Bushwacker clearing the jungle for a superhighway. It takes time — but you will get there if you persist. Eventually, your new, desired behavior will become as automatic as your present negative coping mechanism.

“Please remember to be patient and gentle with yourself.”

Sneaky Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Why does it matter how you feel about yourself? It influences multiple aspects of your life, from your career to your intimate relationships. What are some ways to improve self-esteem and feel more confident in your skin? 

Follow the above sneaky tips to boost your self-esteem. You’ll interact more confidently with the world and attract more of the positive stuff that makes you feel even better.

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Featured image courtesy of Drew Coffman on Unsplash. No changes were made to this image. Image license can be found here.