Anna Boyne
Red and green flags have already prophesied the fate of our relationships – for better or for worse. But now, taking the internet by storm, we are introduced to the ‘beige flags’ trend.
Relationship red flags are the warning signs we should be looking out for. From the trivial quirks like putting pineapple on pizza, to more serious behaviours, like ‘love bombing’. These red flags can often be early indicators of a relationship doomed from the beginning.
Red, green and everything in between
At the opposite end to red flags is the green flags trend, which took a more optimistic approach to relationships.
Social media users identified the good behaviours and actions of their significant others, discussing the actions that make them feel secure in the probability of a long and happy relationship. These varied from loving dogs, being good with children, thoughtfulness and being able to laugh at themselves.
“In the world of social media its beige that takes up the murky middle ground.”
According to the colour wheel, mixing red and green will result in the third primary colour: yellow. Nonetheless, in the world of social media, it’s the beige flag that takes up the murky middle ground.
What is a Beige Flag?
The hashtag #beigeflag currently boasts 877 million views on TikTok. In these videos, TikTok users talk about their partner’s traits with a jazzy background sound.
According to Urban Dictionary, a beige flag is “something that’s neither good nor bad but makes you pause for a minute when you notice it and then you just continue on. Something odd.”
“… many see beige flags as a source of laughter and comfort.”
Amongst the top videos, one user said: “My boyfriend’s beige flag is that he sets timers instead of alarms. It’s midnight and he needs to wake up at 6? He’ll set a six-hour timer.”
While it’s certainly strange behaviour and probably a less efficient system, there is no harm being caused or signs the relationship is fated for success or failure. It’s just odd.
Another user added: “My boyfriend’s beige flag is that he gets impatient at restaurants and helps the waitress bring the plates to our table.”
Is this man trying to be more helpful? Is he rebelling against the system? Or is he just being rude? It’s hard to tell. And that’s why this is a beige flag.
@zoefried_ I have severe second hand embarrassment #boyfriend #beigeflag #embarassing
Video expressing a partner’s beige flags | Video credit: @zoefried_
In a Harper’s Bazaar article, Clara Strunck, wrote: “The new social media craze for breaking up with a partner over their little quirks may be doing us more harm than good.”
Strunck sees the beige flag trend as problematic by encouraging aspirations of obsessive perfectionism when dating. In the world of swiping left and right, beige flags are getting in the way of forming real human connections. If we just gave these people a chance, these oddities would ultimately become what we love most about someone.
But it’s not the negative that dominates TikTok’s ‘For You’ pages. In fact, the most popular videos are created by those already in committed relationships who aren’t put off by their partner’s beige flags. Far from seeking to break up, many see beige flags as a source of laughter and comfort.
Loving the Little Things
One user posted, “My boyfriend’s beige flag is that he keeps his undies that have holes so he can surprise me by walking out and tearing them off his body leaving only the waistband. He calls it the ‘grand reveal’ and it always happens when I least expect it.”
The caption below which states “Can’t wait to marry this man” emphasises that at the heart of this healthy relationship is laughter and silliness. Longevity can only be guaranteed through a foundation of genuine friendship and a love for the little things.
@brontecrawley Can’t wait to marry this man. #boyfriendbeigeflag #beigeflag #relationships #datingaman
Video expressing a partner’s beige flags | Video credit: @brontecrawley
In a way, beige flags seem to be the most romantic of all the ‘flag’ trends. Especially, in contrast to the other colours of flags. While red flags are warnings of toxicity and incompatibility, green flags could be said to be superficial, despite being early indicators of a potentially healthy relationship.
“These traits and mannerisms celebrate loving someone for who they truly are.”
At first glance, the colour beige may have connotations of the mundane everyday. And to anyone else, these behavioural quirks shared across social media are nothing more than a little strange. But for these TikTok users, it’s a way to categorise and describe what they love most about their partner.
They’re neither perfect nor imperfect, but these traits and mannerisms celebrate loving someone for who they truly are. More than simply accepting or looking past a person’s oddities, beige flags are integral for a long, committed, and happy relationship.
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Featured image courtesy of Khadeeja Yasser on Unsplash. No changes were made to this image. Image license found here.
