Nicola De-Ats
Despite being hyper-connected, thanks to social media, we are more isolated than ever. Why? The slow and steady demise of our third places may be to blame.
The United Kingdom is facing a loneliness epidemic. Nearly six in 10 adults report feeling lonely most, often, or some of the time, equating to 31.4 million people. Loneliness hits young people hardest: seven in 10 of 18-24-year-olds feel lonely.
The COVID-19 pandemic exacerbated this issue by forcing isolation. But the decline of third places where people can meet and feel a sense of community also plays a crucial role.
What Is A ‘Third Place’?
The term ‘third place’ originates from the sociologist Ray Oldenburg in 1989. He defines third places as locations that are neither home (your first place) or work (your second place). You encounter “regulars”, bump into acquaintances, or interact with strangers. Most importantly, they are spaces free from obligation, expectations of productivity, and easily accessible to the majority of individuals. Examples include a cafe, bar, or library.
“As people continue to work remotely, many of the third places have transformed into a second space”
But nowadays, thanks to the growing cost of living, individualisation of society and the increasing use of social media, third places are largely disappearing. Many public spaces require a fee to enter, from a gym membership to proof of purchase. While third places are essential to one’s well-being, they are becoming a luxury.
The Loss Of Third Places And Loneliness
Third places have undergone a shift, making them less conducive to socialising. These spaces have simply become too expensive to visit regularly. Instead, it’s easier to hang out at home because it is cheaper. Many locally-owned spaces that fostered community have struggled amidst the pandemic and cost-of-living crisis.
These places have been replaced with chains, such as Starbucks. They are designed to disincentivise lingering and community. Coffee shops have little to no seating and service is streamlined (or non-existent now, thanks to the ability to order in advance on an app). Becoming a ‘regular’ is no longer such an easy feat to achieve.
As people continue to work remotely, many of the third places have transformed into a second space (the space we use for work). As a result, the community aspect of it is lost. It is no longer a place free from the expectations of productivity. Social interaction is limited as our focus remains on work, rather than those around us. We are losing spontaneous human interaction, which is key to feeling connected to the world and tackling loneliness.
The Importance Of Third Places
Friendship, although joyful and important, is hard and requires a lot of effort to maintain at times.
The logistical agility and organisational skills required to organise meeting friends, especially if you live in different areas or have different work schedules, is enough to make your head hurt. People are busier than ever, with less time to see friends. This makes it harder to catch up with friends as frequently.
“Replacing third spaces with the virtual world only reinforces the loneliness many use social media to escape from”
There is also a cognitive load which can come with offering support to a friend. At times, maintaining friendship can feel like somewhat of a burden. It’s another thing to add to your never-ending to-do list, often deprioritised as work or life events take precedence. So, it is no wonder people feel isolated and disconnected.
Third places offer a solution: easy, low-effort access to social interaction, either directly or indirectly. You can go to these places alone and the presence of others makes you feel connected and less lonely. It’s possible to build a sense of community with others, even if you don’t actively engage with anyone. This affiliation with a place makes human connection easy.
Is Online The New Third Place?
For many, social media has become their third space. Interaction is found through comments, likes and shares. Yet, social media creates a paradox: we are more connected, but feel more alone.
While social media allows for the building of online ‘communities’ and casual interactions with strangers, virtual communities do not match the positive impact on wellbeing that real communities provide. Online friendships lack the same emotional connection. They don’t require showing up for friends in the same way in-person friendships do. They don’t require acts of service, like helping a friend move or picking them up from the airport. These are foundational to building and maintaining friendships, as well as feeling connected and cared for.
Replacing third spaces with the virtual world only reinforces the loneliness many use social media to escape from. Enough human connectedness can now easily be found virtually, even if it is just an illusion. It stops people from venturing out to real-life third places to seek connection, which requires more effort.
Social media has also consumed the few third places that continue to exist. The presence of technology makes them more isolating and harder to build a sense of community. People may visit a coffee shop but spend their time scrolling on social media, instead of being open to interacting with those around them.
The eradication of third places strips away the joy, connection and empathy that can arise from spontaneous social interactions. We miss the small, day-to-day encounters with strangers and acquaintances that make us feel less alone.
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Featured image courtesy of Louis Hansel on Unsplash. No changes made to this image. Image licence found here.
