Let’s not beat around the bush – I think many of us would be thrilled to finally see the back of 2020. Yet oddly enough, now that it’s over, I can’t help looking back fondly over a great part of it.
After seeing everyone’s yearly round-ups on social media, I felt inspired to share my own journey. For some, New Year’s Resolutions are a sign of personal growth but for others, it can be more measurable achievements such as a reading list. For me, however, it was neither… it was actually the year I felt myself again.
The Second Year of University – A Change of Environment
This time last year I felt like a shadow of my former self. At the start of 2020, I was living in a toxic and unhealthy environment at university facing torment and exclusion on a daily basis. The verbal abuse within the household got so intense that the following month I had to move out. I felt emotionally drained, my self-worth had plummeted, and I had been made to feel unwanted and unloved.
Yet, leaving that toxic environment at the end of February 2020 re-kindled a spark in me. I was surrounded by a group of people who showed me endless amounts of unconditional love and support. They helped me to fall back in love with not only my degree but university life in general. Feelings of security and comfort replaced the fear and anxiety I used to associate with university. I will never forget our film nights, baking days, and of course our last night together involving lots of games, prosecco, and Disney – a practically perfect combination! These are moments I’ll treasure forever – they’ve guided me back along the path towards self-love.
However, my time as their housemate was abruptly cut short when the COVID-19 pandemic hit. On 15th March 2020, I moved back home as national lockdown seemed imminent. The very next day lockdown began with Matt Hancock banning all unnecessary social contact.
Developing my Writing Experience
Throughout that first lockdown, I had been managing my mental health fairly well. Despite the prospect of lockdown seeming quite daunting at first, it also allowed my passion for writing to flourish again.
With so much more time available, I could properly start treading the waters of journalism.
At the start of 2020, I had zero publications other than on my personal blog. At the end of the year, I had a total of 42 publications. I am so grateful to have been able to share my voice on such public platforms like my university student newspaper and other remarkable websites for aspiring journalists. And a great deal of that experience has to come from the young people’s creative community organisation Comics Youth CIC.
When I first joined the group in April, they gave me numerous opportunities to expand my horizons. I started working for a young adult writing project called Planet Divoc 19 which meant I could take on paid commissions for the first time. Through that I also began developing my experience in the field of research journalism, interviewing people such as Medical Historian Harriet Palfreyman and Immunologist Zania Stamataki.
Everyone within their team has been a strong support system. Those bi-weekly meetings on the Comics Youth discord helped to both create a new routine and enhance my writing portfolio. In fact, two of my articles for them were published in print. They gave so many young people like myself a voice in a world rife with inequality and mental challenges and for that they are a truly outstanding group. If it weren’t for their guidance and words of empowerment, I probably wouldn’t have made such a substantial progression in my journey towards a career in journalism.
Struggles and Moving Forward
However, 2020 definitely brought along what seemed like a never-ending slew of mental challenges for me. Enthusiasm levels had dropped to the bare minimum when my internship, originally due to take place in Malaga, was now remote. Dreams of me salsa-ing down the streets, indulging in the rich Spanish culture would never transpire in the current situation. I felt lethargic and lonely and started to realise lockdown had begun to take a toll on my mental health. It felt like a massive barrier came down between me and the outside world and not being able to hug some of my closest friends and family really started weighing down on me.
Yet now we are fully into 2021 and I still feel a huge sense of gratitude. Writing this has made me realise just how much 2020 has shaped me as a person. Not only has my self-worth increased but I have also gained a unique wealth of experience within my dream career. In 2019, I felt vulnerable, hurt, and had little to no motivation for life. Now I am walking into 2021, or should I say strutting proudly, at one of my highest points in life. Whilst I still am facing a lot of challenges and missing loved ones, this year has shown me the importance of staying optimistic and empowered. I feel strong, carefree, and determined for anything this world can throw at me. With the support network I have at the moment, I don’t think I’m going back to 2019 any time soon.
Katie Heyes
Featured Image Courtesy of Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash. Image license available here. This image has in no way been altered.