Ribh O’Neil
According to a YouGov 2020 Personality Study, 51% of respondents stated that they felt lonely several times a month since the Covid-19 pandemic measures were put in place. With loneliness having a severe impact on the mental health of individuals, it has been made evident that being away from friends had a huge effect on many.
“lockdown allowed us time to evaluate our lives.”
Friendships are a crucial support network for every individual, someone to share positive and negative experiences with. Whether you are like twins or complete opposites, there are numerous benefits of friendships. Whilst many of us felt isolated during the coronavirus lockdown, that time demonstrated just how important and meaningful friendships are.
On the other hand, lockdown allowed us time to evaluate our lives. To pause and think rather than being swayed to jump straight to the next decision. Due to this extraordinary situation many of us made decisions that we would have, perhaps, not necessarily have made otherwise. Whether it was as simple as starting a new hobby to as huge as starting a new career path, friendships were at the height of these decisions. Without being constantly surrounded by people, we realised who were our friends and who, in fact, were our foes.
Making the decision to end a friendship is a guilt-ridden roller coaster ride but one that is necessary. Author of ‘The Friendship Fix: The Complete Guide to Choosing, Losing, and Keeping Up With Your Friends’, Andrea Bonior, Ph.D., stated how you can tell if a friendship is toxic if it causes feelings of “stress and sadness or anxiety”. It is generally accepted that friends should be the first people you want to share news with, to spend time with when you have a moment free.
With lockdown resulting in an exuberant amount of time, it was an ideal way to see who exactly we were keen enough to either phone or video call. If instead of looking forward to talking to them and in fact thought more of it as a hindrance, the likelihood is that they were more ‘quick chat in the corridor’ friends than actual buddies.
Alternatively, toxic friendships are the ones you need to watch out for and leave if you think that this is the case. A friend should boost your self esteem, not make you question yourself. If you constantly doubt yourself when around a friend, ask yourself why this is. After all, time around friends is when you definitely should let your true self shine.
Yet, a massive reason why we are so reluctant to get rid of friends is fear of loneliness. With a study performed by OnePoll, recognising that 45% of Americans find it hard to make new friends, the thought of getting rid of any ones you have is extremely difficult, no matter the positives it may bring.
When at school and university it may be slightly easier to make new friends as you are around people all day but what happens when you graduate? How can you find time to meet people when working a 9-5 job?
A great way to find new friends who share common interests is to join a club, whether at your local community centre or your gym. From knitting groups to tennis clubs, think about what you like to do with your spare time and research online any local groups you could join.
A great way to find information on different local groups is to simply look up the keywords of the activity, the location and your age group (e.g. ‘Painting London Adults’), this will help you find people with similar interests to you. With restrictions not fully lifted you could always try an online club.
“Don’t be scared to ditch negative friendships”
With Facebook offering an oasis of different groups use keywords to find people who share your interests. Online groups open up a whole new possibility of friendships, helping people from all across the country and even the world to make lifelong bonds. Whilst it may be intimidating to join in at first, simply take a deep breath and let your keyboard do the talking. Soon you will be the one starting conversations!
Whilst International Friendship Day should be a joyous day to reflect on the good times you’ve shared with friends, it should also be used as a reminder to evaluate how your friendships make you feel. After all, we only get one life and it should be spent around people who value you. Don’t be scared to ditch negative friendships and start ones that are more positive instead. It may be scary at first but it will definitely be worth it!
Feature Image via Simon Maage on Unsplash . Image license can be found here. No changes were made to this image.
Ribh O'Neill
Ribh is a Media student at Robert Gordon University. She usually spends her time writing features and lifestyle articles, largely for her university magazine. When she has some spare time Ribh loves walking her three Bedlington Terriers and knitting for local charities.