It’s no surprise that the pandemic has had a negative impact on almost everyone from every walk of life. The global economy has taken a colossal fall, the job market has become ruthlessly unpredictable, and quite a few countries are still struggling with containing the spread of the uncontrollable virus.
Throughout the midst of the chaotic year that was 2020, tainting the world with people donning either a blue surgical or oxygen mask, mental health has been been a hard-hit area.
As an international student prone to academic-induced anxiety attacks, life in a foreign country during lockdown was not at all favourable. Adding onto that, living alone for the first time in student accommodation that was meant to be shared amongst four, as well as trying to keep up with course work and push away anxiety, you could safely say that my mental health had severely taken a hit.
Education
Since the outbreak of the Coronavirus pandemic, travel restrictions, a tier system, and national lockdown, it has been a tough ride to fruitfully learn from the practical elements of my degree. As a journalism student, it was a missed opportunity to not be involved among the buzz of a radio booth or to attend workshops on editing video clips. I’ve had almost an entire year of online learning that has hugely impacted the way I view future career options.
But keeping the academic on the back burner and bringing the focus back onto mental health, being locked indoors had given me the time to look at my situation from a half glass full perspective.
“introspection and observation were my two best friends”
During the first few months of lockdown, I was unable to fly home due to delayed university announcements and immediate travel bans. But the advantage of living life like a hermit, alone and away from others, gives you time you didn’t know you had. For the first few weeks, it was an experience to say the least. Eventually however, being overly involved on social media I soon learned that every swipe on a story and every double-tap on a new post made me miss home more and more.
Crying over the situation didn’t really help though; instead, introspection and observation were my two best friends who helped me navigate through the envious and anxiety-driven pit I was submerged in.
Home-bound
Fast forward to a few months later and I arrive home safely, spending time with my family and pets. Here I learned two things: the importance of family, and, most importantly, just how insignificant mental health is perceived as being.
Growing up in an Indian household, mental health is never given an iota of importance. Over a period of constant comparison against other children, being labelled as a disappointment for not adhering to societal norms, and just learning to express your individuality earns you several cross points, but the positive of this is, you develop a thick skin.
My anxiety symptoms were never taken into consideration. If you were facing a panic attack, it automatically meant you were stressed or tired and sleep was all you needed to recover. Wrong.
So naturally, every time I broke down, palpitated when an email swooped in, or dry heaved whenever an assignment was due, suppressing and denying what those symptoms meant was the only way to power through and come across as a mentally stable woman able to be accepted into Indian ‘society’.
Second Year
Second-year arrives and I’m back in my newly furnished dorm room, still anxious about the crazy rise in cases in Sheffield, but also pumped that a new academic year has begun. This time, however, with distance and comparatively easier access from prying eyes, I took the call to look after my mental health and after a few weeks of signing up and scheduling appointments with a university specialist, I finally have someone to talk to about my struggles with anxiety.
Here lies the problem with mental health services. According to an article by The Conversation, it states: “In England, two in three young people with a mental health problem do not receive support from specialist services.
“mental health services never reach the expectations you have when it comes to taking the first leap and seeking help”
“There are long waits for child and adolescent mental health services (CAMHS) and thresholds for entering care are high.”
In my experience, mental health services never reach the expectations you have when it comes to taking the first leap and seeking help. After just one session of speaking to a counsellor, all I could think was, ‘Did I even speak about everything I bottled up the past few years?’; ‘Did the one-hour session do anything to help me with my panic attacks?’; ‘ Why did it feel like my session was not considered crucial to help?’
“a cocktail for exhaustion, anxiety, and burnout”
Maybe I’m projecting an inaccurate image of what a counselling session is supposed to look like but I don’t believe that two sessions conducted weeks apart, each running for 50 minutes, is ever going to be enough to actually help you from your struggles.
So now, struggling with an educational institute that claims to provide quality online learning for an extremely practical course, mental health services that are practically futile, and the pressures of entering the job market for a second-year inexperienced undergraduate, and you’ve got yourself a cocktail for exhaustion, anxiety, and burnout.
With a Storm Always Comes a Rainbow
Throughout the pandemic, reduced job opportunities for students did, I have to say, give me the extra time I needed to study and work in areas I wouldn’t normally have engaged in. From writing articles to launching my own website, none of this would have happened without Covid.
A year since Britain’s first lockdown and I am back home in Dubai due to international travel restrictions, but after the mentally draining 12 months, I can safely say that it’s a breath of fresh air to finally be able to move around without the worry of uncertainty and lockdowns.
As an extroverted student who thrives on meeting and talking to people, being indoors has definitely taken a toll on my communication skills. It is exhausting to sit in front of a laptop, mum clanking utensils in the kitchen, my sister barging into my room while I’m on a zoom call as she takes a break from her online class, or my dog growling when I’m holding an interview via Google meets.
“the thought of meeting people is terrifying”
It’s been even more taxing to manage a four hour time difference where my day begins at six in the morning even though my classes begin at midday, ending at eight in the evening. It has impacted not only my mental health but also my physical health.
As much as I long to fly back and meet my friends and salvage what I can from my last year of university, the thought of meeting people is terrifying – and that’s coming from a wildly extroverted person.
While I can’t say that the time being an unemployed student during lockdown has been a joyride to my empty bank account, the past few months have been a learning experience.
Finding ways to cope with anxiety and isolation by incorporating a healthier mindset and learning to adapt and accept situations does not come by easily, but those few months of working on myself while learning the truth about reality and its unpredictable obstacles have shaped the way I can work on moving on from the terror of the year 2020 and hope for much safer and smoother years ahead.
Michelle Almeida
Featured image courtesy of Juan Pablo Serrano Arenas on Pexels. Image license can be found here. No changes were made to this image.
