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How TV And Film Shape Our Understanding Of Sex And Relationships

Ella Gilbert

Ella Gilbert

TW: Mentions of sexual trauma and abortion, 

The roaring success of Netflix’s Sex Education has prompted questions and conversations about the way sex education is taught in schools, the content it covers and the role that media plays in it. Sex Education is unusual, not only in its openness about sex, relationships and identity but in how it doesn’t glamorise them to unrealistic standards, which has likely attributed to its popularity.

While – of course-  the show is dramatized, I only finished secondary school in 2018 and found many of the scenarios faced at Moordale similar to problems within my own school.

Sex and relationships education (SRE) is compulsory in the UK but only the biological aspects. Schools teach other SRE topics but students can be withdrawn from classes that cover more than a basic scientific understanding.

I was taught a somewhat dated SRE curriculum that upon reflection was far from comprehensive. When school systems fail young people, the media is often what they turn to for education which can be both useful and dangerous.

How are sex and relationships portrayed in the media?

Sex and relationships are portrayed in a variety of different ways in the media. On-screen relationships are often either extremely glamorised or incredibly toxic. While TV and film generally is moving towards being more open about sex, they only really focus on few similar scenes and topics.

What I notice the most in TV and film relationships is how polarising it is. There’s a sharp contrast between glamorous, passionate, perfect experiences and very obviously dysfunctional and toxic ones, with a distinct lack of ‘normal’ experience.

“Switching between these highly traumatic scenes and scenes of crisps white bedsheets and model-type bodies can paint a highly unrealistic image of sex and relationships”

Topics like unwanted pregnancy, abortion and sexual assault are heavily covered and while these topics are undoubtedly important and need to be discussed, can often be used as just a plot device which isn’t necessarily the point.

Switching between these highly traumatic scenes and scenes of crisps white bedsheets and model-type bodies can paint a highly unrealistic image of sex and relationships. TV and film are primarily made to entertain so their top priority won’t necessarily be education and representation.

How is Sex Education unique?

Sex Education is one of the few shows that portrays teenage life somewhat accurately, and especially their experiences of sex and relationships. Other TV shows and film that show teenagers in relationships and/or having sex attach shame and stigma to the experience.

Soap operas like Eastenders and Waterloo Road are dramatized and tend to only feature when things go drastically wrong, like leaked nudes, and shame the characters for their actions. These shows are designed for the entertainment of an older audience and thus often portray teenagers in this way.

In contrast, Sex Education shows the experiences of teenagers and young people for the consumption of these teenagers and young people.

It shows the awkwardness and confusion, the heartbreaks and the happiness; it shows the chaos of emotion and experience that is being a young adult.

This shared teenage experience is rarely shown on screen and its relatability makes people feel like they aren’t weird or alone, which is the message previously taken from TV and film, and is what has made it so successful.

“Teenagers and young people are still learning so much about themselves and are only able to give a more convincing performance as they grow into themselves.”

The show has been criticised for claiming to be so relatable while the characters are played by adults, mostly in their twenties. While the actors may look older, they are able to perfectly capture adolescence’s mayhem.

The whole point of the show is to show how awkward yet normal growing up is and it would be incredibly hypocritical to expect teenagers to be able to perform that.

Teenagers and young people are still learning so much about themselves and are only able to give a more convincing performance as they grow into themselves.

Sex Education and Queer Identity

As a young queer woman, I can see the usefulness of shows like Sex Education on a personal level. Queer relationships were briefly mentioned in my SRE classes but in a ‘also some people are gay and that’s ok’ way rather than any actual education.

Sex Education features numerous characters and couples figuring out their identities and navigating the unspoken world of queer relationships.

SRE programs don’t know how to navigate LGBTQ+ education and consequently, young queer people are left to figure things out on their own.

Sex Education also explores queer characters in unconventional ways. TV shows and films that feature gay characters often focus on the plight of being queer, like dealing with homophobia or other issues which disproportionately affect LGBTQ+ people, such as AIDS. While these issues should be addressed and brought into conversation through TV and film, it can be exhausting to watch. Sex Education is able to tackle these issues.

“Sex Education, and other similar shows, alone are not enough to compensate for the failings of SRE programs.” 

Sex Education addresses many queer characters and their attempts to explore their identities and sexualities. However, the ‘education’ aspect is still lacking. It normalises some experiences and helps to challenge some of the myths of queer teenagers. Sex Education, and other similar shows, alone are not enough to compensate for the failings of SRE programs. They touch on some crucial topics like consent and safe sex but do not provide enough detail that they should be counted as a form of education on their own.

Should TV and film be given this responsibility?

TV and film provides different opportunities for education. SRE can be awkward for both students and teachers.

Many students feel unable to ask the questions they need in front of their peers and many teachers feel uncomfortable educating about something so personal to a group of hormonal teenagers, especially as most aren’t specifically SRE teachers.

It’s difficult for teachers to discuss how sex, identity and relationships can be awkward or confusing without touching on their own experiences, which would be arguably far too personal for a classroom environment anyway.

“The writers and production teams have a responsibility to understand how they influence the viewers”

However, the primary purpose of TV and film is to entertain. Many people don’t want to receive an SRE lesson when they’re trying to relax and others reject any attempt to be educated on personal topics.

The media has no SRE curriculum to follow and can pick and choose whichever parts of sex and relationships they want to cover.

The writers and production teams have a responsibility to understand how they influence the viewers, particularly with sensitive topics like sex and relationships, but shouldn’t be expected to pick up the pieces of a failed SRE system.

Sex Education is proof that shows can tackle taboos and difficult yet important topics whilst still being entertaining. We don’t want the whole of the media to turn into a SRE curriculum but the show’s success shows how people want to see realistic scenes and realistic characters.

The dated SRE curriculums need updating and this new curriculum, in tandem with shows like Sex Education, could provide a much more realistic, comprehensive and necessary sex and relationships education.

Featured image courtesy of Reproductive Health Supplies Coalition on Unsplash. Image license found here. No changes were made to this image.

Ella is History and Spanish student at the University of Sheffield. She is the social media manager for Empoword and a keen writer for various publications. When not writing or studying (which is far more often than she'd like to admit), you can find her exploring the outdoors, going out for drinks with friends, or in bed with Netflix and TikTok.

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