TW: sexual violence, discussions of assault
Harriet Clark
In England and Wales in 2020, 773,000 persons above the age of 16 reported being sexually assaulted. These sexual offences have tripled in the past few years, disproportionately affecting those who identify as female. Society’s recognition of sexual violence has undoubtedly increased. However, to be believed or sympathised, one must fit a rigid ideal victim template. Whilst this commonly refers to a survivor’s activities prior and during an assault, it also applies to the after-assault narrative. Responses to sexual trauma are commonly depicted as being shut off, cold and introverted; behaviours that coincide with PTSD and depression. However, there is an antithetical response to sexual violence that is rarely spoken about: hypersexuality.
What is Hypersexuality?
Hypersexualising oneself is when you sexualise yourself more than your standard amount. In the framework of a trauma response, it often comes from internalising the sexual objectification thrusted upon you. This commonly starts from a young age, moulding your self-worth as you normalise this belief. It can also be an act of denial to one’s trauma, committing sexual acts to counteract the abuse experienced. This hypersexuality takes control of one’s life and centres sex; whether it be having sex, talking about sex or sexualising yourself in front of others. This can be self-deprecating jokes about sex-capades, or trying to seek validation from others to have them think you are sexually worthy or inform them that others think you are. Masturbation habits and porn/erotica usage can increase in order to create a sexually safe narrative for yourself. This hypersexualisation is not simply a public performance, but an internalised sense of self.
Cultural Significance
Society breeds a misogynistic and heteronormative framework that places women as the subservient mate to men. Women have grown up learning they are to perform sexually for the male gaze, to please male desire and push female pleasure to the side. Failure results in being abandoned by your partner for someone who is sexually sufficient. The fear of abandonment can increase ones hypersexuality to stop the man from leaving and feeling the familiar pain of past trauma. This lack of self-worth and self-esteem is a form of self-harm: torturing yourself with triggering experiences, performing sexually because you feel you have to, placing others pleasure above your own. Hypersexualisation is a continuation of one’s trauma, where the physical and emotional pain intertwines and can leave you more distraught than before.
“This topic needs to be explored in order to keep survivors safe.”
Hypersexualisation is commonly paired with adultification. This is the erasure of children and their innocence by forcing the caricature of adulthood onto them. Adultification disproportionately affects Black girls, who are viewed as more mature and hypersexual by society which increases their chances of being victims of sexual abuse. This creates a dangerous cycle where adultification can lead to abuse, which in turn leads to hypersexuality which can lead to further distressing events. Hypersexuality is a valid response to sexual trauma, but its roots and actions can be dangerous. This topic needs to be explored in order to keep survivors safe.
The Need to Start a Conversation
As a survivor myself, I have experienced hypersexuality. After an assault, I reacted in a way I had never heard about. Craving male attention and validation that I could only receive with my body. Needing others to touch me so that I could no longer feel my abuser. Wanting to use myself the only way I knew how: for sex. Whilst the sex was consensual, I received no joy as I was simply performing. I was morphing into whatever partner people wanted; unable to act on desires of my own which had become clouded with shame. Being bombarded with flashbacks whilst simultaneously eager to please. I was also greeted by an onslaught of slut-shaming and lack of belief of my assault, as why would a survivor of assault be so sexually active? Due to my response, I started to doubt my own trauma, asking if it was even real.
“Even in open survivor spaces, this response is rarely spoken about.”
I was unaware of the valid trauma response that is hypersexualisation of the self. It is a topic that people must educate themselves on in order to aid theirs and others trauma. Even in open survivor spaces, this response is rarely spoken about. This only heightens the stigma surrounding hypersexual persons, especially women. By no means should one assume all hypersexual nature stems from a bed of trauma. Hypersexuality can be a normal behaviour that coincides with consensual sex. However, sexual liberation can be countered by the harmful narrative of slut-shaming. Yet this narrative can be even more painful when you don’t feel in control of your sexual actions.
Whilst hypersexuality can be dangerous after trauma, we must create an open conversation discussing the reasons behind these actions. This can help survivors access the support they need rather than dismissing their behaviour and harming those we should be protecting.
If you or anyone you know has been affected by sexual abuse, please find helpful resources here.
Image courtesy of Gordon Johnson on Pixabay. Image license can be found here. No changes were made to this image.
