When I say letting nature back in, I am not referring to refraining from heat styling my hair or giving my skin a break from makeup (although I have been doing both of those things of late). Instead, I am talking about a reconnection with the earth and my surroundings which I have recently found as a result of my life being put on an unexpected, COVID-19 related, pause.
“I have found it a struggle, but I have also suprised myself by finding moments of healing in lockdown.”
When lockdown was announced I was staring down the barrel of twelve weeks with complete dread. I have always found staying constantly busy to be the best way to shut out all the stress and pressures of life and stay afloat, so I anticipated so much thinking time with no distractions would be a significant challenge. And granted, I have found it a struggle, but I have also surprised myself by finding moments of healing in lockdown.
“moments of beautiful insignificance”
Lockdown has certainly given me new empathy with my family dog: I now too spend all day looking forward to a walk. And it is during quiet walks in the open that I have found moments of peace and discovered a new self-awareness. I am lucky to live in a rural city, which means it only takes ten minutes on foot to reach expansive country lanes and fields. Spring is so beautiful, and there has probably never been a period in my life where I have had time to truly notice this before now. It has been liberating to watch nature carry on flourishing and doing its thing without humans; it has been the only order and regularity I have seen in seven weeks. Seeing this has given me moments of beautiful insignificance: maybe I don’t need to worry so much about all the tiny details, the world will carry on regardless.
Perhaps this sounds alien and I should strive for significance and success, but sometimes there is something luxury about feeling like a tiny part of something huge. It is freeing. It makes the every-day obstacles feel less cataclysmic. In many ways I have never felt so present. Instead of always looking to what is next, I am just appreciating feeling connected and respecting the forces of the natural world.
We often pile too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect; to be successful; to be in control. But lockdown has given me a new respect for myself as a perfect and successful, intricate part of the natural order. When lockdown does end I am sure that I’ll embrace jumping straight back in to life at a hundred miles an hour, but for now I am appreciating some of the moments of peace and new perspectives that reconnecting with nature has given me.
Harriet Pandeli
Featured image courtesy of Harriet Pandeli. This image has in no way been altered.