This Valentine’s Day, I’m finally celebrating myself.
With February comes the Valentine’s Day content, suggesting ways to spend the holiday, gifts to purchase, or potential date-nights. Thankfully, we are slowing moving past considering Valentine’s Day as exclusively for romance. But, while I love the rise of ‘Galentine’s Day’ and the idea of dedicating the day to your non-romantic loved ones, these alternative ways to spend the holiday often present themselves as a temporary means to spend the holiday before you can eventually ‘achieve’ your own romantic celebration. It’s time to change that.
With the start of Valentine’s season, I reflected on a conversation I’d had a few months ago. A friend, who had recently got into a relationship, turned to me and asked, ‘’how does it feel to be the only one of our friend group not dating anyone?’’ I told her that, honestly, it felt great. And for the first time ever, I actually meant it.
I’ll admit that in the past I’ve played the role of ‘bitterly single hater’, cursing my friends and their lovey-dovey evenings. I spent years in on-and-off ‘situationships’ that always seemed to fall into the ‘off’ category around this time of year. This, combined with all the romance-based advertising suffocating me in the lead up to the 14th February, meant that I felt excluded from the holiday.
The start of my self-love journey
So what changed? Well, after a year of being more or less confined to my house, I, like many others, found myself with a lot more me-time. Desperate to keep myself somewhat sane through a year of lockdowns, I threw myself into self-care overdrive.
I began journalling almost everyday, finally getting into the roots of my feelings. I spent less time on my phone comparing my life to everyone else’s on social media. And, I took full advantage of daily walks, which had a huge impact on both my mental and physical health. One of the best parts is that these three things, just a few examples of ways in which I have embraced self-care, were all completely free of charge.
”Gradually, I stopped being the girl who wondered why she wasn’t good enough to have her own valentine.”
And the result? I began to love spending time on my own.
Gradually, I stopped being the girl who wondered why she wasn’t good enough to have her own valentine. Instead, I became the girl who blocked all her toxic exes. Most importantly, I realised that being happy alone is infinitely better than being miserable with someone else.
After a year of prioritising loving myself, I ultimately became pretty good at it. So, why should I settle for someone who doesn’t love me just as well?
Being happily single for the first time ever, I decided to celebrate these self-love victories. And when better to do so than Valentine’s Day? Now that I’ve finally reconciled with the holiday, I’m embracing this year’s Valentine’s Day as though it’s my first.
A day of flowers and takeaway coffee
“Dedicate the day to showing love to yourself”
On the 14th February this year, I’m going to get up and take myself for a (takeaway!) coffee. I’m going to buy myself a bunch of flowers. I’m going to bake myself a completely pink cake. Best of all, I’m going to love every minute of it.
You may not currently be committed to a romantic partner, but, like it or not, you are committed to yourself for your entire life. So, if you’re feeling a bit down about the prospect of another Valentine’s Day on your own, change the narrative. Dedicate the day to showing love to yourself – do your favourite activity, eat your favourite foods, whatever makes you feel the most loved.
Self-love is a mindset, and above all, it’s a choice, and I promise you it’s worth it, even on the harder days. Here’s to a new conception of Valentine’s Day, and to celebrating the effort we put into loving ourselves. Happy Valentine’s Day!
Charlotte Harris
Featured imaged courtesy of Dan Gold on Unsplash. This Image has in no way been altered. Image license is available here.
