Bethany Brown
When they enter adulthood for the first time, most young people are not prepared for the feeling of loneliness. This feeling can creep up over time, as you become accustomed to the daily 9-5 workday. Or, it can pounce on you suddenly when the door closes on your school years. Loneliness manifests in different ways for everyone — but it is a major part of growing up in 2024.
Everyone will experience loneliness at some point in their lives, in one form or another. But 16 to 29-year-olds are twice as likely to report feelings of loneliness ‘often or always’ than those over 70.
There is a heightened focus on isolation accompanying old age, which is a key concern in itself. But younger demographics are often neglected from research about loneliness. However, loneliness can strike at any time and the transition to adulthood is a prime opportunity.
Why Does Loneliness Strike In Adulthood?
Our school years are full of socialising, busy lessons, and sometimes petty drama. But, through the good and the bad, it was rare to be alone, physically or mentally. You spend 40 hours a week in a class of around 29 other people, and you are all going through the same phase of life. It is very collective.
Adulthood is much more fluid, as everyone is following different paths. This can be freeing, granted, but you also spend a lot more time by yourself. With added financial, career, and familial pressures, it can be a tough pill to swallow. You might feel like you’re falling behind your peers.
If this all feels very close to home, please know you are not alone, not by a long shot. But try not to feel defeated by these feelings! Although life is a little different now, there are still ways to combat loneliness.
The Power of The Internet
There has been an ongoing debate about whether the internet can truly remedy loneliness. Can we really cultivate true connection via a screen?
In some ways, the internet can actually incite loneliness. A common pitfall is viewing perfectly curated Instagram feeds as evidence that everyone is “living their best life” and you are the odd one out. FOMO is not fun for anyone.
However, the internet does not have to be inherently bad. Sure, mindlessly scrolling whilst bed rotting is not the cure to loneliness. But we shouldn’t disregard the power of online connection. When used in the right way, the internet can be an accessible solution to making new connections.
Putting The ‘Social’ In Social Media
I was introduced to Soli by a friend and was shocked at how quickly it helped me.
Branded the app which provides “sisterhood on demand”, Soli makes it easier than ever to connect with other women, make friends, or get advice. Through the app, you can post status updates and your Soli-sisters will quickly swoop in to chat, hype you up, or console you. The app currently has tens of thousands of users, so it usually does not take long to strike up a conversation.
Another feature of Soli is the Super-Soli initiative. These users have undergone safety training and verification to answer urgent calls and chats for anyone in need. Through the app’s hotline feature, users can reach out to a Super-Soli if they are feeling unsafe, lonely, or just want a chat.
Soli is a wonderful example of how the internet can create, diverse and welcoming communities. Being able to make connections at the click of a button is a great way to pull yourself out of a rut.
There are a range of similar apps available that you can try:
- Bumble BFF
- Discord
- Meetup
- MEEFF
Redefining What Socialising Looks Like
You might be looking to maintain relationships in spite of busy schedules, distance, and other commitments. It can be a strange adjustment, but opting for a “quality over quantity” approach to socialising can be a great way to reduce loneliness.
Quick check-ins can be an easy way to stay informed about friends’ busy lives, as well as easing loneliness. A phone call, text message, or video call can sometimes be all you need to brighten your day. These check-ins can be in person, if time allows it, for a quick lunch date or after-work catch-up. Some friends also arrange unique holidays or anniversaries to celebrate, to ensure that they meet up on a regular basis.
My friends and I recently discovered The Wednesday Waffle, a concept coined by @slayinschool on TikTok. This generally involves sending a ramble-style video to your friends about what you’ve been up to and plans for the week ahead. This is just one example of quick, easy, and fun ways to remain connected throughout the week.
Essentially, making your social time work with your new schedule, instead of fighting against it, is great for balancing loneliness and adult schedules.
Pick Up A New Hobby
This last tip is cliche, but a classic piece of advice for a reason. If you now have a lot of time alone, what better opportunity to invest in yourself and find a new passion? Crafts, writing, exercise, music, gardening: the list goes on! Leisure and relaxation are not prioritised enough for adults. It can be so easy for life to start to revolve around work and familial duties, so it is important to dedicate time to a hobby or interest.
Having hobbies can combat loneliness in two ways. Joining classes, clubs, or groups can be an easy way to meet like-minded people. A common interest is a simple way to break the ice and having a regular commitment is an effective way to build a bond. Additionally, new hobby can help you learn to enjoy your own company. Being alone does not mean you have to be lonely. Instead, having a moment of solitude can do wonders for our well-being.
Navigating loneliness whilst transitioning into adulthood is incredibly difficult and an ongoing journey. Young adulthood is a time of such uncertainty, a difficult realisation when we so often assume you have “everything figured out” as an adult. The constant changes can make it nearly impossible to feel grounded but also welcome so much growth.
Loneliness is definitely a part of adulthood, but it does not have to be its defining factor.
Featured image courtesy of Zhivko Minkov on Unsplash No changes made to image. Image license here.
