I am not one for gambling or sport. I don’t have the money to waste on online poker or the patience to watch an entire football game. You could say that Secret Santa is as close as I get.
On the surface, Secret Santa doesn’t exactly look like Black Jack or any kind of sport I know. Even if I do break out in a cold sweat when I have to find a gift for someone I barely know. But you’ll be surprised at just how similar they can actually be.
Take ‘gambling’; by definition, it’s a game where we risk something- usually money- on the off-chance that we’ll get something more in return. It might be more money or it might be a Secret Santa gift we actually want. As a serial Secret Santa partaker, I know that there is always a chance that you don’t see a return on the £15 you spent on someone else. And it can be frustrating when you’ve put time and effort into choosing a nice scarf for Jen (because Jen wore a scarf that one time) and you got yet another bath bomb – that you saw on sale yesterday at that discount store. Ouch. Secret Santa is a gamble and sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, but you never know unless you play.
‘Play’ being the keyword here. It’s a game, a challenge. I can never resist the chance to play detective and I haven’t lost yet. Sure, some might say that questioning your classmates and co-workers under a crime scene investigation lamp is a bit excessive but I get results! One of my favourite parts of doing a Secret Santa – besides all the time and money I have saved from not buying everyone presents – is the guessing. I’m only one level down from having my white woman podcast; bringing together all my suspects, making connections between them, deciphering what their present-giving process is, and how good a gift-giver they are. It’s a science, really. If you’re one of those people that think that finding out your Secret Santa is equal to flicking to the last page of a book then you’ve already lost. This year, I solved my Secret Santa investigation in 24 hours, not a personal best but I’ll let myself off, we’re going through a pandemic after all.
And there you have it, your annual Secret Santa that fills you with dread is not that far away from basketball or a game of roulette. It’s just harmless fun, a bit of friendly competition for the amateur detective. Sure, sometimes you might end up with some garish Christmas socks you don’t want to be seen dead in or you get a Lego set that you’ll never put together but that’s a gamble you take when you play the game. And is that really winning anyway?
There may be some that will be quick to criticise this mystery gift-giving tradition as nothing more than a school/work obligation that we are roped into year upon year. They may even go as far to say that Secret Santa is yet another opportunity for our corporate, capitalism-centred society to convince us yet again to buy into more useless stuff that we don’t need or want. I understand that perspective, I really do, but that’s hardly Secret Santa’s fault.
In both gambling and sport, there’s a clear winner and loser. You either win more money or you score the most goals. You get the prize, you hold the trophy or you spray the champagne. “Winning” Secret Santa, as much as I might want it to be, is not about who solved the mystery or if you got the present you wanted. We have to think about why we are giving gifts in the first place. Your first answer might be that it’s a bit of fun or less enjoyable peer pressure but I refuse to believe that’s all it is. It goes beyond religion, cultural, and societal tradition. We give gifts because we care. It’s one of the most human things we do. Actions speak louder than words for a reason. When we take that time out, make that effort to show someone that you care and that you’ve thought about them, you’ve won the only game worth winning.
Since, in 2020, the year that has been quite literally the year that has kept on giving – and not in a good way, a game of Secret Santa can make all the difference. Coronavirus has devastated nations, economies, communities, and families across the world. We have all felt loss; our freedom, our livelihoods, our loved ones and we do not know when it will end. If you can, this year, play Secret Santa for more than for sport or a harmless gamble. Why not send a shoebox to a child that might not be getting even garish Christmas socks this year? Or donate to a toy appeal in your area, like these in Edinburgh and Glasgow? One present will not solve an entire pandemic but it is a gesture that could go a long way. The worst of times can and have to bring out the best in us. We give gifts because we care, and in times like these, we need to care more than ever.
Rebecca Carey
Featured image courtesy of Joshua Lam via Unsplash. No changes were made to this image. Licence can be found here.