Jennifer Cartwright
Where were you when Molly-Mae and Tommy broke up? When the carefully worded announcement was uploaded to her story, there was a seismic shift in the world. The picture-perfect couple was revealed to no longer be perfect.
Their breakup was all I could talk about with friends, colleagues, and anyone who would listen. Repeatedly, I had the same conversations. I wanted to know their opinions and share mine. But I don’t know these people. So, why do I care?
Why Do We Care About Celebrity Breakups?
Celebrity relationships are bonding experiences. The famous are vessels which we can use to discuss our relationship standards without confessing anything about ourselves. Would we stand for cheating? Would we find an Instagram hard launch cute or cringey? Or God forbid, would we stay with them after they get a haircut? Through discussing celebrity relationships, we can emotionally exercise from a distance.
“Celebrity’s relationships are often part of their brand”
There is also a personal investment, created by a feeling that we know these people. This is what’s known as a parasocial relationship: an intense and one-sided attachment to a public figure. We might get butterflies when the actress we’ve always loved finds someone. Or we might see a breakup as karmic retribution for that influencer we never liked anyway. Sometimes, we may even feel a jealous lurch in our stomachs when rumours swirl about our celebrity crush dating someone who isn’t us.
The Role Of Media Mania
As we obsess and play the third wheel in these relationships, the media is only too happy to feed us. It’s the choreographed paparazzi shot of walking down the street hand in hand. Then the Okay magazine cover and the Vogue wedding exclusive. A celebrity’s relationships are often part of their brand.
Even when romance is messy, it’s a PR opportunity. Since Sabrina Carpenter’s new album Short n’ Sweet has been released, I’ve found myself ardently doing my research to understand Taylor Swift’s ‘August’/’Betty’/’Cardigan’ love triangle enlivened. I’ve forensically analysed Carpenter’s lyrics, compared them with Camila Cabello’s and read through theory after theory about Shawn Mendes too. With a spike in streams, all three stars are benefitting.
Celebrity gossip even becomes a marketing tool for businesses that have nothing to do with the rich and famous. When Ben Affleck and J-Lo announced their second separation, RyanAir jokily tweeted ‘she’s gone girl’.
she’s gone girl https://t.co/aMhVBDgT6k
— Ryanair (@Ryanair) August 21, 2024
On the one hand, celebrity breakups are taken deadly seriously. They dominate our headlines and For You Pages. But, on the other hand, social media platforms are flooded with jokes about the celebrities and their relationship. We play up the drama of the celebrity breakup as if we are going through it ourselves but with no sympathy towards the humans who are.
The Consequences Of Idealisation
I imagine celebrities can get lost in their famous relationships and breakups. The death of ‘Brangelina’, which is very old news, makes me wonder how you reclaim your name after it has been attached to someone else’s for so long? How do you burn the pictures and erase the memories when digital footprints are forever cemented? All it takes is a quick search in the internet archives to find you both together again.
Abuse allegations against Brad Pitt have only come out in the past two years. How do you get over someone the internet praises as a ‘good guy’ because they don’t know what he did?
Because of the oversaturated media, I’ve become so invested in celebrity relationships I feel like an expert. When the breakup announcement comes, it shatters my scholarship and reveals that I did not know anything at all. A week before Joe Alwyn and Taylor Swift announced their breakup, I was convinced they were engaged.
It turns out the parasocial relationship wasn’t as real as I thought. Reading Wikipedia and TMZ doesn’t make you an expert on someone you have never met. A celebrity’s social media posts and interviews are a window into their life, but that is it. They are never going to open the door for you. Even breakup announcements are often cautiously worded, leaving you guessing in the gaps what happened.
Phoebe Bridgers and Paul Mescal have moved on with new partners since their relationship two years ago, yet I still sometimes think about them together. I moulded idols out of mortals and set my own relationship standards based on their image. I’m gradually getting over it.
Is It Wrong To Care About Celebrity Breakups?
I will never know what exactly happened on Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner’s Ring camera. Or precisely what Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin meant when they said they were “consciously uncoupling”. Enjoyable conspiracies are created out of mysteries. But at what cost?
I don’t believe it is innately a bad thing to be interested in celebrity relationships. I’m just as excited about non-celebrity relationships. I want to know when the couple from high school ends things or when my friend’s sibling gets engaged.
But I think I need to stop acting like a child of divorce when celebrity breakups happen. I can still watch the movies and listen to the album — I don’t need to pick a side. Breakups can be earth-shattering when you experience them. Even the famous deserve a breakup without public intrusion. I’ll still care, but a little bit less.
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Featured image courtesy of Fabien Maurin via Unsplash. No changes made to this image. Image license found here.
