Sex education has to change – there’s no doubt about it. No one has fond memories of these classes and all it does is bring back an overwhelming feeling of awkwardness. However, although we may not realise it, this is part of the problem. Sex education should not be cringe-worthy, awkward or difficult to look back on. For that to happen, the stigma around it needs to go.
Of course everyone’s experience of sex education was different; we were all taught at different ages, in different ways, and by teachers of different genders. However, there’s one recurring theme: boys and girls were taught separately. No matter how awkward it may be for a 10-year-old to learn about a girl bleeding once a month, or boys having an erection when they’re of the opposite sex, we cannot use this as an excuse.
In my eyes, young boys learning about menstruation from a young age is a must. Undoubtedly, this will help to combat the stigma around periods, known notoriously as ‘the time of the month’. Understanding why women may be emotional or under the weather and why they’re experiencing discomfort will make it clear that we aren’t being overdramatic for the sake of it – because, shocker, we don’t have the time or energy for that.
Sex education classes should encourage experimentation. Male masturbation always has and always will be considered normal, while females are discouraged from it. How can girls be discouraged from masturbation if it isn’t spoken about I hear you ask? That’s the exact reason we’re in this position in the first place. It’s not until women reach a later stage in their lives and develop a greater sense of control over their mind and pleasures that it becomes clear that masturbating was completely normal for them all along.
“I relied on those classes to teach me what I should know – and they failed me.”
All I can recall of my sex education classes, which I’d much rather forget, is having a few lessons towards the end of year five. I can’t remember what I was told besides the simple analogy of how sex works and the fact females have periods and give birth to children. Evidently it was worthwhile (not). As an only child who viewed talking to her parents about these things as the most uncomfortable thing imaginable (only child or not, I’m sure you’ll agree), I relied on those classes to teach me what I should know – and they failed me. They taught us the bare minimum and left us to figure the rest out for ourselves.
When you reach secondary school you’re expected to be clued up, even if you have no anticipation of doing these things for a long time to come. 12-year-old me was not. Although it’s easy for some to quickly cotton on, we shouldn’t have to, and if you’re still left clueless, you’re in for a dreaded chat with your parents. The fact that us young people saw, and still see, conversations about sex with our parents and family members as uncomfortable reinforces the stigma around it.
As sex has become a hot topic of discussion on social media, schools should be taking note. Although the internet is a great place to learn, it sets unrealistic expectations of sex and intimacy, with the likes of porn eradicating the value of intimacy altogether. Not only does it set an unrealistic standard for the act itself but also for what people should look like (and that’s a whole different discussion in itself).
“Social media has been a saving grace and has educated us more about these things than our schools ever have”
Schools need to drill information into students about how to spot if something is wrong down there. Boys should be taught how to properly check themselves and girls need to be aware of vaginal disorders as it’s always better to be safe than sorry. Social media has been a saving grace and has educated us more about these things than our schools ever have.
It’s true that children may be too young to learn about certain things in primary school. The simple resolution? Teach them about it in secondary school instead. This doesn’t have to come in the form of classes dedicated to sex but integrating normal conversations about it into other subjects. We should study people and literary texts which encourage open discussions about it because (shocker) it’s a mundane part of everyday life. However, after Zoella was dropped from an AQA syllabus for posting about sex toys which caused outrage from parents, it’s clear we’re far from where we need to be.
Just look at the state of sex education. Something’s got to change.
Katie Wheatley
Featured image courtesy of @dainisgraveris via Unsplash. Image license found here. No changes were made to this image.
So many thought-provoking questions in this piece. I felt like I had too lite sex education, but I worry teens today are probably overloaded with it.