Content Warning: This article contains details of mental health and body image issues.

Cara-Louise Scott

I always hear the same New Year’s Resolutions from family, friends, and strangers alike. We all know the manager who wants to lose weight or the uncle determined to quit smoking. No matter the extent, we always want to change ourselves. 

Optimism around New Year’s Resolutions 

Every new year, we set ourselves goals. Often, these are unrealistic. While some people do achieve the goals they set, half the time, it is impossible to meet the high standards we want for ourselves.

“Sometimes, we try to force ourselves to be dramatically different”

Life gets in the way no matter how hard we push ourselves to reach our goals. Problems can arise in the home or workplace. Reading a hundred books each year is much more difficult if a family member or pet is sick. You might feel less motivated to cook a healthy meal after a difficult week at work. Going to the gym daily might become unattainable if you develop health problems.

When we set many New Year’s Resolutions, we look back at the year and feel disappointed. We focus on the big goals we didn’t manage to achieve rather than remembering our many small accomplishments: the little wins at work, the new food we tried, and the effort we put in to make ourselves happier. Frequently, we overlook or discount what we do achieve.

We forget that a new year doesn’t make you a new person. Sometimes, we try to force ourselves to be dramatically different. But we are still the same person we were before midnight. For some reason, we have become obsessed with January 1st being the best day to start our transformation into a completely different person. But why?

New Year, Same Old Habits?

In an article for the Metro, journalist Ella Glover said, “When it comes to the end of a year, week, or month starting something new – like a big project or new goal – it feels unnatural. Compare this to the designated beginning of something, like January 1st, when we feel empowered to leave our old ways behind us and change our lives for the better.”

The start of a new year can feel like a fresh, clean beginning without our previous mistakes.

But, if the last few years have taught us anything, you can’t plan for things. We all remember making plans at the start of 2020, looking forward to what we could do with the new year. But the news briefing in March 2020 threw our lives off the track. We didn’t have the power to make any goals we wanted to achieve happen. As I said, life gets in the way. 

Our collective obsession with New Year’s resolutions dates back to ancient times. Over 4000 years ago, Babylonians were making New Year’s Resolutions.

“I won’t feel disappointed at the end of the year”

Most of us have time off work in December and January and can reflect on what we want to change about our lives. Celebrating New Year’s Eve often involves reflecting on the year we just had and looking towards the upcoming year. The time of reflection, combined with the opportunity to make a fresh start, motivates us to create New Year’s Resolutions.

New Year’s Resolutions and Me

Like most people, I have struggled with New Year’s resolutions. In the past, I’ve always set goals that haven’t been achievable most of the time. But if we create more realistic goals that aren’t defined by specific numbers and time frames, we will be less disappointed if it takes longer to achieve them.

“Making a healthy, well-thought-out plan requires a little time and effort”

There are a few things I have resolved to do this year: read more, write more, and eat a little healthier. Rather than ploughing through a long list of books, I just want to read more frequently than last year. Rather than trying to change my diet completely, I want to make healthy choices now and again. For example, eating some fruit as an afternoon snack. By setting looser and more realistic goals, I won’t feel disappointed at the end of the year.

Being ‘SMART-er’

To improve your life, experts suggest making SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound) goals. These guidelines will allow you to create goals which you can meet. Making a healthy, well-thought-out plan requires a little time and effort. Instead of trying to learn a whole language, choose a list of 20 words and phrases to learn in a month. Rather than going cold turkey, why not try cutting down your daily amount? Gradual changes are more likely to stick.

If SMART plans are too strict, you can create more casual goals and try to be kinder to yourself. Therapists assert that feelings of failure arise from setting unrealistic goals and believing we can change overnight. In turn, this leads to self-doubt and low self-esteem. Therefore, it isn’t surprising that 80 per cent of people ditch their resolutions by February.

Why Wait?

Waiting until next January might feel like a smart idea, but in reality, this wastes time you could have spent working towards your next goal. Whether it’s a Monday or a Friday, there is never the ‘perfect’ or ‘ideal’ time to change. You can even start working on a resolution right now. 

Ultimately, you may find that the goals you failed to achieve may blossom into something even better. Learning from your past mistakes can lead to you growing into a better person without even realising it.

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Featured image courtesy of Cristian Escobar on Unsplash. No changes have been made to this image. Image license found here. 

I am a waitress and writer currently living in London! Graduated last year from the University of Birmingham with a first-class BA English and Creative Writing degree. I am an aspiring young journalist with a love for writing anything related to current affairs, opinion, mental health, food and drink, and travel!

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