Emily Parker
Before starting university, I was told that my fresher’s week would be one of the best weeks of my life. It would be filled with making lifelong friends and partying until the early hours of the morning.
But instead of partying hard on my first night of university, I found myself lying in bed at 10pm. As I listened to an array of music coming from the different flats around me, I thought to myself, how could I have ever thought that uni life could be for me?
After spending less than 12 hours in my new university city I had labelled myself as unfit for the uni experience. I had decided that fresher’s week and university were synonymous with partying, and that this lifestyle would not suit me.
I had decided that the new city that I was living in was completely the opposite of my quiet, countryside hometown. Therefore, I would not be able to adapt to this busier environment. But, most of all, I had decided that I would not be able to fit in with any of the hundreds of new students living around me, despite only speaking to two new people that day.
A New Home
Four years on, I now know how wrong I was to make these assumptions, both of university life and of myself. I found myself worrying that I wouldn’t fit in with the university party lifestyle, but I know now that partying is only one aspect of the experience.
“I wasn’t sure whether I would be able to adapt”
As the first week progressed, I was already starting to realise that many of my first night presumptions may not be true. As I spent more time in my new university city, I found myself slowly falling in love with the new place that was becoming my home.
On my third night of fresher’s week, I was walking back to my accommodation block with my new flatmates, when one person mentioned how our flat was now our new home. Hearing this I was suddenly alarmed. I hadn’t thought about my new flat as being my home.
Instead, I had envisioned my new student accommodation as a temporary place to live while I was at university. This comment sent me into a silent panic, as I started to think about living in my new university accommodation and city as a very permanent, and very daunting change.
The distance between my home town and my parents started to feel particularly large, and I wasn’t sure whether I would be able to adapt to living so far away from all the people I was close to.
Finding Your People
One of the most daunting things for me about moving to a new city was the fact that I would be living miles away from my family and friends. I had not experienced living away from my family permanently before, and I knew it would take me time to get used to. But as time progressed, there became more of a reason to be living in this different city, as it became my home away from home.
However, of my first night of university presumptions, the one that I was most wrong about was that I would not fit in and make friends with the people around me.
Making friends is of course not instant. Even when you are surrounded by hundreds of new people it can feel a struggle to find a true connection. But when the aim is to specifically make friends during fresher’s week, this struggle to find your people can suddenly begin to make you feel like a failure. Despite launching myself into socialising, I found myself feeling overwhelmingly lonely as I did not feel that I had found my people by the end of fresher’s week.
I started to panic as I saw other people seemingly becoming close friends with the people living around them, while I still felt incredibly alone. Yet, fast forward to the start of second year, I was part of a group of friends who also all recalled feeling exactly the same as I had done during fresher’s week – apparently it’s a universal experience.
@phoebegraziaxo For all those who had a bad freshers week 💗! You got this #freshersweek #freshers2024 #movingtouni #firstyearstudent #freshers #freshersadvice ♬ Closer – Nuages
It’s Normal To Feel Nervous
Since completing my first fresher’s week at the start of my undergraduate course, I have gone on to complete a master’s course at a completely different university – which meant another fateful fresher’s week.
Just like my first year, I found myself worrying that I would not make friends and that I would not fit into the new place I was living in. But, yet again, as the weeks progressed I found myself chatting to lots of great friends, and falling in love with a totally new city.
After experiencing fresher’s week twice, I have decided that moving to a new city will always be daunting. Feelings of anxiety and loneliness are normal, and even to be expected. Upon reflection, I can now see that it is normal to feel like you don’t fit in with the people around you, and the feel of your new city or university.
Fresher’s Week Can Be Deceiving
Whilst it may feel like there is a pressure to partake in parties, this is not what university is about, and if this is not for you then you will be able to find other activities which you enjoy.
Though university may feel far away from home and your comfort zone, you will find new things to love in the city that you are living, and you will find that family is generally just a phone call again. From my experience, friends are made throughout your years at university. Plus feeling lonely during fresher’s week is not at all an indication that you will not find your kinds of people.
In fact, fresher’s week can be pretty deceiving.
So, if you are not enjoying fresher’s week, don’t fear. Starting university can be scary. But it will get better from here.
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Featured image courtesy of Tim Gouw on Unsplash. No changes were made to this image. Image licence found here.
