Eleanor Corney
Teenage actor Kit Connor took to Twitter on 31 October to dispel queerbaiting rumours. He posted: “back for a minute. i’m bi. congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. i think some of you missed the point of the show. bye”. But here’s why Kit Connor owed us nothing.
back for a minute. i’m bi. congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. i think some of you missed the point of the show. bye
— Kit Connor (@kit_connor) October 31, 2022
Kit Connor is an 18-year-old actor, best known for playing a queer character in the show Heartstopper. He has also starred in films such as Rocketman (where he played Elton John) and Get Santa.
With a portfolio of experience playing queer characters, he has recently been faced with a barrage of queerbaiting accusations, especially after being spotted holding hands with a woman.
What is Queerbaiting?
Queerbaiting is a complex concept to define, though it’s typically used in discussions surrounding film and TV, where show writers attempt “to attract an LGBT audience by hinting at same-sex relationships between characters, though they’re never actually consummated”.
In a nutshell: queerbaiting means hinting at and profiting from queerness, without actually being queer.
Kit Connor plays the part of Nick Nelson in the Netflix series Heartstopper, a rugby player who comes to terms with his sexuality after becoming friends with Joe Locke’s character, Charlie Spring.
“Accusing Connor of queerbaiting because of his relations with a girl is a very simplistic and one-dimensional view of sexuality.”
Before queerbaiting accusations were rife, Connor publicly identified as “unlabelled”, stating that he was “comfortable” in his sexuality, and “[didn’t] need to label [himself] publicly”.
Later, when pictures of Connor holding hands with a woman were circulated, the internet immediately disregarded Connor’s previous statements about his sexuality. He was accused of profiting from the LGBTQ+ community by taking on queer roles and, ultimately, queerbaiting.
From the get-go, there’s a slippery slope established here, and complicated questions about queerbaiting are raised. Accusing Connor of queerbaiting because of his relations with a girl is a very simplistic and one-dimensional view of sexuality.
Put simply, Connor being seen with a girl once does not necessarily mean he is heterosexual. We do not know the ins and outs of Connor’s sexuality to dictate whether he is actually ‘queerbaiting’, and he doesn’t owe it to us to share.
Real People and Queerbaiting
Good representation in the media plays a pivotal role in an adolescent’s development. In recent years, representation has improved, with shows such as Heartstopper and singers such as Isaac Dunbar and Troye Sivan being openly queer. However, has this progress come at a cost?
Queerbaiting is not a new term, but its weaponization against celebrities is a relatively recent trend. A notable example is Taylor Swift.
Critics have argued that Swift is profiting from an LGBTQ+ aesthetic, while not publicly stating whether she is part of the community herself. Like Connor, it has been assumed that Swift is not queer, since she hasn’t openly said she is, and queerbaiting accusations are therefore assumed to be valid and fair.
“Crucially, use of the term has now shifted from being a criticism of media, to being used to police the actions of real people.”
Despite problematic contemporary usage, early critiques of queerbaiting were important.
“Early criticisms of media creators wanting to capitalise on the appearance of subtle or implicit queerness without running the risk of being ‘too queer’ was important,” explains Dr Michael McDermott, an academic specialising in the study of queerbaiting.
Crucially, the use of the term has now shifted from being a criticism of media to being used to police the actions of real people.
The Myth of ‘Coming Out’
Young LGBTQ+ people often feel pressure to come out. The term ‘Queer Fundamentalism’ is a phrase that I first encountered in an interview between writer R. Raja Rao and Sridhar Rangayan for Project Bolo. Rao describes how some openly queer folk emphasise “coming out”, even at the expense of individual comfort.
There is the notion that if you are queer and do not come out, you are of no use to the LGBTQ+ movement.
“sexuality is an individual experience”
Rapid social progress and acceptance in recent years have energised the queer community, but it has also led to an immense, paralysing pressure to come out before individuals are ready to do so.
There is a sentiment that if queer individuals do not come out, they are ‘dishonest’ or ‘weak.’ In my opinion, sexuality is such an individual experience. It can take years, or even a whole lifetime to feel comfortable within yourself.
Figuring out your sexuality is daunting, and it is a personal adventure that isn’t owed to anyone.
While coming out has served as a successful marker to many, we should remember that the very act of coming out can perpetuate a harmful power dynamic, pressuring queer individuals to confess their identities, while no such parallel experience exists for cisgender and heterosexual people.
Furthermore, coming out is not a one-size fits all experience, with racial, socioeconomic, and other social factors all influencing one’s experience of coming out. Coming out is hard, and we shouldn’t force someone to do it, simply to quiet any presumptuous queerbaiting accusations.
The Case of Kit Connor
Let’s return to Kit Connor. A wave of public criticism, shaped by norms and ideals of sexuality, legitimacy, and ‘dishonesty’ made Connor feel like he had to come out. This is problematic. Kit Connor owed us nothing, and nor does any other queer individual.
Sexuality is a deeply personal journey, and our habit of assuming others’ sexuality to the extent that they feel pressured into sharing private details of their journey needs to change.
Featured image courtesy of Daniel James via Unsplash. No changes have been made to this image. Image license found here.
