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Self-Optimisation: Upward Spiral or Downward Slope?

Rebecca Wright
Image shows a piece of paper with the words 'Am I good enough?' on it [self-optimisation]

Becka Wright

Life right now can certainly feel like we’re living in the golden age of self-optimisation. With the constant influx of what I eat in a day and 5am morning routine videos, social media is expanding as a platform where people are now showcasing their self-improvement.

As a generation, we’re obsessed with how we present ourselves to others, whether we’re presenting authentically, what we really want and how we go about getting it. But is this heightened awareness getting in the way of us doing the things we set out to do?

Self-optimisation as performance

Let me clarify. In the golden age of social media, it can feel as though every bit of our lives is broadcasted to others, and in turn, every bit of other people’s lives is broadcasted to us. It can feel as though, through any form of self-expression online, you’re trying to “sell” yourself. We become far more concerned with how we present to others than who we know ourselves to be.

“We all socialise with this veil protecting us from what could cause us harm”

This translates to real life too, not just our online presence. I know I’m not the only one to overthink everything I say to people (whether it’s a text to my best friend or saying ‘you too’ to the waiter who told me to enjoy my meal). I feel that I’m so terrified of coming across as a ‘bad’ person, or worse, an embarrassing one, that I’m not exactly showing the world that I’m a good one either.

We all socialise with this veil protecting us from what could cause us harm, but equally, it shields us from true authenticity.

Balancing authenticity

 The truth is that being “authentic” isn’t always pretty, quite often it’s the opposite.

You’ll inevitably get things wrong – you’ll hurt people you didn’t mean to, you’ll mess up, and you won’t always know why. If you deny yourself the opportunity to do these things in the first place, you’re denying yourself the opportunity to grow from your experiences. Nothing real can ever occur in a vacuum, and you can’t make all your mistakes in private. Horrible, I know, but embarrassment is the key to growth.

In the media, self-optimisation has been marketed as something to aspire to, rather than the messy journey that it is in actuality. If you see the best version of yourself as someone capable of limitless perfection, you’re only kidding yourself for the benefit of others.

The best version of you isn’t perfect, and probably won’t ever be. The best version of you is likely just trying their best, not being the best.

Reimagining self-optimisation

I used to think that the best version of me was a successful writer, journalist and publisher with years of experience and awards to prove it. She would be more confident than I am, effortlessly pretty and smarter than she let on. I would beat myself up over the fact that I wasn’t that person, without ever giving myself the chance to try and grow into anyone other than who I am now. My goals were purposefully unrealistic for my age, and I didn’t give myself credit for how far I’d already come.

“Authenticity is not a performance to be paraded on TikTok”

Now, I think that the best version of me is one who accepts my flaws and knows my strengths. I back myself in ways that I could’ve never dreamt of before because I know the difference between what other people want for me and what I want for myself. I think when people are really ‘optimised’, they’re not necessarily blind with ambition, relentlessly studying and juggling the gym with a ten-step skincare routine like you see in the media.

https://twitter.com/kvbeth/status/1405080938560647173

It’s a lot more mundane than that, but also a lot more exciting. Self-improvement is noticing, listening and learning about yourself in ways that aren’t always visible to others, because it’s not for the benefit of others. Authenticity is not a performance to be paraded on TikTok. It’s hypocritical, beautiful, embarrassing and vulnerable and that is entirely the point.

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Featured image courtesy of Nik on Unsplash. No changes were made to this image. Image license found here.

Final year English Literature student at Newcastle University.

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