Lisa Frolova
TW: This article mentions mental health, pregnancy loss and PTSD.
Following a recent miscarriage (the loss of pregnancy before 20 weeks), I reached out to the number provided to me on a pamphlet after devastating scan results. The number was for the NHS counselling service specifically designated for those grieving a pregnancy loss. I held out for a while, thinking that perhaps I could get by without speaking to professionals, but after several weeks it was clear I was still struggling.
The Reality of the 5 Week Wait
I contacted the number and was transferred to the early pregnancy unit of my local hospital, where I left a message. The unit sent back an email thanking me for reaching out and assured me that they would discuss my referral at their weekly meeting and that I would be placed on a “short waiting list of approximately 4-5 weeks”.
Now, while we are undeniably blessed to have the NHS, I was completely shocked when I realised that I wouldn’t be seen immediately, as I had naively assumed I would be. While I was far from resembling my normal self, I was faring relatively well. I was engaging in my regular activities, attending university and seeing friends and family. Yet, I was, and still am, experiencing a myriad of emotions, from anger to grief, that I was desperate to unravel with a professional.
“Many women take years to heal”.
Nearly a quarter of a million women experience a miscarriage each year in the UK. While I may have been struggling, I was definitely coping, but that doesn’t extend to all women. Many women experience recurrent pregnancy loss, some lose IVF babies and others lose a baby after months or years of trying. Miscarriage is often a difficult subject to breach with others, who may not see the loss the same way the woman views it. Many women are met with remarks such as, “at least you can get pregnant” and “everything happens for a reason” which, while well-meaning, are not particularly consoling. Depression, anxiety, shock and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are all common mental health side effects following a miscarriage, and many women take years to heal.
Post-Traumatic Stress After Pregnancy Loss
“Pregnancy Loss Leads to Post-Traumatic Stress in One in Three Women”.
According to the National Institute for Health Research, PTSD, anxiety and depression can linger 9 months post miscarriage for many women. PTSD is developed following a physically or emotionally horrifying experience, often seen following a terrorist attack or war combat. Dr. Zev Williams, the director of Early and Recurrent Pregnancy Loss at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, cites that one in five women liken emotional loss during a miscarriage to be similar to that of losing an older child.
For women like me, a miscarriage may be one of the most traumatic events ever experienced and the significant risk of serious psychological illness should not be taken lightly by our health system.
“This is the terrifyingly sad result of an understaffed, overworked and underfunded health system”.
My early pregnancy unit employed only three nurses. Considering that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage, it is no wonder that the wait to speak to a qualified nurse for an hour is so long. During my own miscarriage at home, I was unable to get a hold of the nurse assigned to me, and in my desperation, I called the pregnancy unit over 17 times in one day, only to get through to their voicemail system. The only way I was able to speak to my nurse in the end was to travel to the hospital and sit outside the nurse’s office. This is not to say that the hard-working NHS nurses are to blame. Rather, this is the terrifyingly sad result of an understaffed, overworked and underfunded health system.
The Expense of Private Counselling
Depending on where you live, private counselling sessions can seriously break bank. They can cost anywhere from £120-180 per hour. Fortunately, many universities offer free well-being consultations. But not everyone has this option to fall back on, and waiting 5 weeks to speak to a qualified professional may have seriously long lasting, and possibly life-altering, implications.
Miscarriage Association and Tommy’s can offer additional support and resources for recovery after miscarriage.
Featured image courtesy of on K. Mitch Hodge via Unsplash. Image license found here. No changes were made to the image.
