Katie Alexander
A 2020 YouGov poll shows that nearly two in five mothers admit that having a child has negatively impacted their career. Yet only one in seven new fathers felt the same. In a life after Covid-19, can mother’s have a family and a career?
I planned for a baby, not a new job
Back in November 2021, my partner and I decided to take the giant step of trying for our first child after many, many months of deliberation. We bought our first home only a few months earlier, have stable careers and felt we were ready.
That being said, the following month I was offered a new career opportunity outside of my current sector. I was so ecstatic after thinking the interview had gone horribly, so I accepted. Only a few days later, we found out we were pregnant.
We were overjoyed. The happiness was bursting from inside us both, but after a few days I felt a looming cloud of self-doubt, anxiety and fear. How would I ever cope in a new role with a baby on the way? And more importantly, how would I tell my future employer that I’m not pregnant? Would they still offer me the role? Would I qualify for any paid maternity leave? While an employer cannot directly discriminate against a pregnant person, many parents-to-be find themselves full of anxiety at the thought of telling their workplace their happy news.
We found out very early on, at only three weeks and four days gestation, so decided to keep it quiet for a few more weeks. Telling our families on Christmas Day was one of the most heartfelt days in my life. Everyone was so full of love, but there was still an air of uneasiness.
When is the right time to have a child?
I don’t think having a child is worry-free for anyone. We certainly knew it wouldn’t be plain sailing when we decided to try for a baby, but we certainly didn’t anticipate the struggle of juggling it with a new job. I felt horrendous for a few weeks.
We have so many friends who have waited till the ‘perfect’ opportunity to begin their families and have, unfortunately, struggled with infertility. Couples who have their lives in order and a perfect career, but they’re unable to have what they truly want. A baby.
I’m not sure if I’d ever feel 100% ready in every area of my life to have a child, but I knew I wanted them. My partner and I had a few worries about our fertility due to previous medical history, but thankfully we fell pregnant very quickly.
Starting a career while pregnant
At a time when I was meant to be overjoyed (and of course I was to some extent), I just wanted to cry. I knew from the beginning that this new job wouldn’t fit around a child. I also knew that I wouldn’t qualify for statutory maternity pay. It changed our whole situation.
This pregnancy was planned, the job wasn’t. Yet, I truly felt that being pregnant was the worst thing in the world at that time. This was an opportunity I wanted and I knew I couldn’t have it. I wanted to be selfish and take the job without a second thought, but I did have something (or someone) else to think about.
In the new year, I decided to tell my potential employer about my new situation. Admittedly, they took it extremely well. They were happy for me, but of course, a bit gutted. I was offered the role despite being pregnant and was given plenty of information about how to proceed.
As happy as I was, it still didn’t change the facts. I had a baby on the way with an unsuitable potential job and no maternity pay. It really wasn’t ideal.
Returning to work
Statutory maternity pay in the UK isn’t great at the best of times. If I stayed in my current job, I would qualify for 90% of my average weekly earnings for the first six weeks and then £151.97 per week. And that’s the maximum for most working pregnant people in the UK. That’s it.
I’m only 15 weeks pregnant at the moment, but I cannot see myself returning to work within 6 weeks of having my child. When I do return to work, who is going to look after my child? My partner works full time. Thankfully, we do have a brilliant support system around us for child care, but not everyone is so lucky.
I decided to decline the job offer. Not because I didn’t want it, I really did. It wasn’t right on my baby, the employer or myself. I don’t hate my current job and I wasn’t actively looking for a new role, but something amazing came up. Even now, I’m questioning what kind of career I’ll have when I return from maternity leave.
Will I be able to slip back into a 9-5 with a baby? Most importantly, will I want to? If Covid-19 has benefited us in any way it’s certainly highlighted the benefits of flexible, remote or hybrid working. Too often in the past have primary caregivers been punished for wanting to drop their kids to school or taking them to a dentist appointment.
As the Government removes all Covid-19 restrictions, I wonder what will happen in terms of employment. Will employers force workers back to long commutes into city offices? Have we proven that working from home works just as well?
Figures from two 2022 surveys found that two-thirds of employees believe they’re more productive when working from home. This is backed by another two-thirds of employers who agree that productivity has increased.
A family or a career?
It’s unsurprising that expectant and new mothers fear for their careers more than their male counterparts do. Still today, mothers are more likely to reduce their working hours when they do return to work. This is alongside taking on a bigger chunk of household chores, once again, distracting from progressing their career.
I certainly feel like falling pregnant has negatively impacted my career progression, and it certainly has impacted mine more than my partners. We are a partnership, but he doesn’t need to consider maternity leave. Returning to work. Balancing my family and a career.
But, ultimately this all comes down to what you prioritise in your own life. A family or a career? I’m not sure mother’s can have both to their fullest potential in the current climate.
Featured image courtesy of Camylla Battani via Unsplash. Image license found here. No changes were made to the image.
