Riannon Chaplin
Love is a funny thing. There are so many forms of love and different ways to express it. Romantic love, in particular, is everywhere. It inspires songs, books, films, and TV shows.
Often, the presence or absence of love in our lives is a major part of our identity. We spend much time thinking about romance, both the highs and lows. Perhaps this omnipresence is what makes Valentine’s Day so fascinating.
Unlike Christmas or Thanksgiving, celebrations of love aren’t tied to a specific time of year. Yet, millions of us choose 14th February to exchange words and tokens of affection with the people we love. In 2024, it’s estimated that 65 per cent of Brits will be celebrating.
If love is such a big part of normal life, what makes Valentine’s Day special? What does it mean to us? Despite the endless criticisms of commercialisation, why are more than half of us planning to spend money on the holiday?
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The Origins of Valentine’s Day
St Valentine is a shadowy figure, only glimpsed in fragments of historical records. According to one legend, he was a third-century Roman priest executed for helping Christians escape prison. Some versions mention a jailed St Valentine sending a letter to a lover, signed “from your Valentine,” but there’s little proof. In another legend, he performed illegal marriages for young couples, defying Claudius II’s attempts to prevent young men from deserting the army for their wives.
“French courtiers were paired up with a Valentine for the year to mimic the concept of birds courting”
It’s unclear why 14th February was chosen as his feast day. Some believe it marks the anniversary of St Valentine’s death or burial. Others believe the church attempted to Christianise the pagan festival of Lupercalia, which occurred on 15th February. This would align with many choices made by the church: a similar decision was made when Christmas was moved closer to Saturnalia, successfully eclipsing the original holiday.
Lupercalia involved slapping women and crops with strips of a sacrificed goat’s hide, which Romans believed to promote fertility. This practice continued until it was outlawed in the fifth century, when Pope Gelasius declared 14th February St Valentine’s feast day. It might not be your idea of romance, but mid-February wasn’t associated with romantic love for centuries.
A Celebration Of Love: Valentine’s Day
The world’s oldest surviving Valentine’s card is believed to be over 230 years old. It was decorated with hearts and a carrier pigeon delivering a love letter with a handwritten poem. In 2019, the card was sold for £5800 at auction.
“Every product imaginable has been given a glittering Valentine’s gloss”
But Valentine’s greetings date back to the Middle Ages. Many Europeans believed the mating season for birds began in mid-February. As a result, birds were often a central theme for Valentine’s cards, art, and poems. In his 1375 poem ‘Parliament of Foules’, Geoffrey Chaucer wrote that Valentine’s was when “every foul cometh there to choose his mate.”
It wasn’t just birds who partnered up for the holiday. Believed to have been written around 1443-60, a poem by Charles, Duke Of Orleans references a Valentine’s Day lottery. At this lottery, French courtiers were paired up with a Valentine for the year to mimic the concept of birds courting.
The Curse Of Commercialism
Has consumerism stripped Valentine’s Day of this meaning? The constant presence of love in all our lives and varying ideas of how we should express it make this a difficult question to answer. How we feel about Valentine’s Day can shift within a year, depending on our experiences and the types of love we value most. It can also vary drastically between cultures.
In 2022, over £1 billion was spent on Valentine’s Day in the UK. Every product imaginable has been given a glittering Valentine’s gloss: chocolates, flowers, and even a viral TikTok toaster. But companies have capitalised on love for centuries.
In Britain, printed cards began to replace handwritten letters around 1900. In America, the first mass-produced Valentines were popularised by Esther A. Howland in the 1840s.
Twenty years later, Cadbury began selling heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. So-called conversation candies featuring flirty phrases were developed in America in 1866, though they didn’t become heart-shaped until decades later.
“Valentine’s Day is no more commercialised than other major holidays.”
Even the anti-Valentine movement is commercialised. T-shirts, mugs, and other merchandise proclaim everything from proud singledom to desperate loneliness. Our bitterness can even help a good cause: a zoo in Texas allowed people to pay for a cockroach or rat named after their ex. Then, they were fed to other animals.
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Modern Valentine’s Day
The love that Valentine’s Day represents has shifted away from the romantic. Self-love is now high on the agenda. Spoiling ourselves has been rebranded from sad singleton behaviour to a form of self-care. We bestow love on our friends, family, and pets.
If we recognise that focusing on romantic love is too narrow, why is an annual day for celebrating love still so alluring? Why not forgo any version of Valentine’s altogether? Galentine’s Day might hold the answer.
The Meaning Of Galentine’s Day
Celebrated on 13th February, Galentine’s Day was coined by Leslie Knope in the US sitcom Parks & Recreation. In one episode, Leslie gathers her female friends at a diner for “ladies celebrating ladies”. Galentines (and the gender-neutral Palentines) have been adopted in the real world.
The many faces of Valentine’s Day are more than just a cynical marketing ploy. While a cursory scroll on Amazon reveals Galentine’s cards, jewellery, and T-shirts, what lies beneath is a desire to feel special for a day. We can and do celebrate love at other times of the year. But how often do we pause to take stock of the diverse types and expressions of love in our lives?
At its core, Valentine’s Day allows us to feel light in an often dark world. We feel love of all kinds in tandem with millions of others around the world. It may not always feel authentic, but Valentine’s Day is no more commercialised than other major holidays. There is a universal connection in having an annual day where we give and receive love – no matter who you love.
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Featured image courtesy of Rinck Content Studio on Unsplash. No changes made to this image. Image license found here.
Riannon Chaplin
Riannon is a trainee journalist from Essex with a degree in History from Cambridge University. She is especially interested in social affairs, particularly education, disability and health and wellbeing.