It’s a question as old as time itself. What to watch on Christmas Day? You’ve eaten as much food as your body can (un)reasonably handle – that is, until you return for rounds two and three – and the Monopoly board has been tossed to the side, ready to gather dust for another year. Unfairly, may I add. Monopoly is for life, not just for Christmas!
“Whoopi Goldberg is joy in human form. Case closed.”
Here are five films sure to provide the most immaculate of vibes, ranked by their power to swiftly end any impending festive arguments. And no, I haven’t accidently missed out everyone’s favourite Christmas film. You know, that one with Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson and Keira Knightley in a baker boy hat (allegedly hiding the world’s biggest spot). If there’s one film that doesn’t need any free (festive) press, it’s Love Actually – no, I won’t be taking any questions!
Sister Act
I can’t stress this enough – don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like Sister Act. This is for a multitude of reasons but mostly because (HRH) Whoopi Goldberg is joy in human form. Case closed.
Ranking – 8/10. You can’t shout over Whoopi!
The Snowman (followed by The Snowman and The Snowdog)
I’ve always assumed that The Snowman is a must-watch for everyone, their dog and their cat-that-isn’t-really-their-cat-but-it-appeared-once-and-never-left. However, I was recently left shaken when my flat-mate informed me that this…isn’t the case. What’s more alarmingly festive than a boy going on a midnight adventure with a snowman? Name a song more haunting and winter-y than Walking in the Air? You can’t!
Ranking – 10/10. It would take the boldest of siblings to continue fighting over who won Trivial Pursuit when the snowmen begin their violin solos.
NOT Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Is this a sensational Christmas watch? Absolutely. But that’s also the problem. Years of proclaiming that Goblet of Fire is the most festive Harry Potter film have taken their toll and now the thought of Hermione descending the stairs to the Yule Ball yet again makes me feel a bit nauseous. That’s why I’m replacing it with Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Yes, this is a hill I’m willing to die on.
Ranking – 6/10. It’s a hard one. Everyone loves a bit of Harry Potter – but does that mean it’s merely background noise to a blazing row about what time to have the trifle? Only time will tell.
Holidate
For anyone that’s seen Holidate, don’t be alarmed. Let me explain myself! This is one to watch when you need a smidge of festive cheer but you’re ultimately sick of the whole thing. It’s a shock to the system that will truly make you appreciate your own Christmas. To put it into context, I recently watched it back-to-back with Slender Man and realised I’d rather be chased by a stick-thin demon than witness an attractive Australian man say the words “lips that begged to be kissed” without a trace of sarcasm. Take from that what you will.
Ranking – 2/10. I’m not sure this film would stop an argument in its tracks. It might even facilitate one. Let me know!
“Nothing says festive cheer like receiving a magical potion to cure any injury, right?”
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe
“Always winter, but never Christmas”! Furry coats! A large quantity of ice! Talking animals! Turkish delight! Father Christmas quite literally turns up on his sleigh and gives the Pevensie siblings gifts to help them take down the White Witch. Nothing says festive cheer like receiving a magical potion to cure any injury, right?
Ranking – 9/10. If you can’t shout over Whoopi, then you best believe that you can’t shout over Aslan.
Miranda Parkinson
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